The Miracle of Judaism

[JASON]
Dot Nardoni, Ariel Axelrod
Zoe Feinstein, Angelina Dellibovi
Bunny Doyne, or what's her name?
Mo Cristofaro
Or Heather Levin, Brittany Rosenthal, which?
[?] Jenkins, what is the name of the bitch?
Flo Giuseppe, right, but it borders on kitsch
Of these girls
Which should I invite to my bar mitzvah?
I’ve a problem to flaunt:
I don't want the girls I should want

I want girls for whom I lust
Girls who wear a lot of makeup
Girls who smoke and show their bust
Girls with whom I always wake up-
Would they come though
If they were invited
And not laugh
At my Hebrew
And not laugh
At my father and his friends'

Excluding them, I find exciting
And I’m left with them, I'll be inviting
Selecting girls for one's bar mitzvah
God, that's the miracle of Judaism

That's the miracle of Judaism
(yelling)
I don't want a bar mitzvah
I don't want a bar mitzvah
I don't want a bar mitzvah!