Perfect

[MARVIN]
Is the party in the right place?
[In a ballroom]
It’s inevitable how unhappy I am
With this party
Cause my son’s Bar Mitzvah is soon
Rest assured that I am paying
And I want that everything is
Perfect
I want it perfect

[MENDEL]
Perfect, Perfect, Perfect, Perfect Bar Mitzvah
Perfect Bar Mitzvah
Perfect, Perfect, Perfect, Perfect Bar Mitzvah
Perfect Bar Mitzvah

[TRINA, overlapping with above]
I got you the flowers here [?]
Or should I put the band here
And the flowers there?

[MARVIN]
I said she could plan the party
Call me crazy
It’s unfortunate that when she asked me-
Could she?
I was choking

[TRINA]
I’m inept where taste is concerned

[MENDEL]
I’ll accept her choice in husband

[MARVIN]
I think Jason deserves a day
That is perfect
I want it perfect
Let’s make it perfect
Don’t think of money
The pleasure’s mine

[TRINA]
My taste might make my Jason choke
At least my taste is not homo-baroque
Will my son say it sucks when he tries on his tux?

[MARVIN]
I like when she talks less…

[TRINA]
I don’t care

[MENDEL]
Yes, you do

[TRINA]
Yes I do, I do care
That’s a serious flaw in my personality

[MARVIN]
Does the band know [?]
Let’s not panic
Will your husband wear what's appropriate
Or must we [?] him?

[MENDEL]
I can see hasn’t improved
He’s the same obnoxious a**hole I first met

[TRINA]
What’d’you mean?

[MENDEL]
I said what I meant
Perfect
I said it perfect
He’s still an a**hole
I said it perfect
Now let's go home

[MARVIN, in an exaggerated accent ]
Perfect
Perfect
Perfect, perfect Bar Mitzvah

Perfect
Perfect
Perfect, perfect Bar-

[CHARLOTTE]
Look, look, look:
It's a lesbian from next door

[CORDELIA]
Followed by her lover who’s a lesbian from next door, too

[JASON]
Will Whizzer be there?
I know you have not spoken for a long time
But, Dad
He was the best friend that I ever had

[LESBIANS]
Taste it
It's good

[CHARLOTTE]
It's very good

[CORDELIA]
Taste it
You won't be disappointed

[CHARLOTTE]
Even though I love the cook
It tastes like good food should

[LESBIANS]
Taste it
It's good

[CHARLOTTE]
It's good, yeah?

[THE LESBIANS]
Taste it

[CHARLOTTE]
That's a doctor's vow
Hypocrites and hypocritical [?]

[ALL, BUT JASON]
Perfect, perfect
Perfect, perfect bar mitzvah
Perfect bar mitzvah
Perfect, perfect
Perfect, perfect bar mitzvah
Perfect bar mitzvah

[JASON]
Will Whizzer be there?
Please say 'yes'

[CHARLOTTE]
Will Whizzer be there?
Please say 'yes'

[LESBIANS & JASON]
Will Whizzer be there?
Please say 'yes'

[MARVIN]
Will Whizzer be there?
Let me guess
Maybe yes
Maybe so
I don't know

[ADULTS, except MARVIN]
Is the party in the right place?

[MARVIN]
I don’t know

[ADULTS, except MARVIN]
What a party

[MARVIN]
I don’t know

[ADULTS, except MARVIN]
It's amazing how indispensable

[MARVIN]
I-

[MENDEL]
I-

[TRINA]
I-

[ALL]
I am to this party

[MENDEL & TRINA]
Yes, our son’s bar mitzvah is soon

[MARVIN]
Rest assured that I am paying

[ALL]
And we want that everything is perfect
We want it perfect
Let’s make it perfect

[MARVIN]
I’ll spend the money the son is mine

[ALL BUT JASON AND MARVIN]
Perfect
We want it perfect

[MARVIN]
The son is mine

[ALL BUT JASON AND MARVIN]
Perfect
We’ll make it perfect

[MARVIN]
The son is mine
The son is mine
The son is mine

[ALL BUT JASON]
It must be perfect
Perfect
Perfect
Perfect