The Dada Side

It's time to dance!… Dance! Everybody to the dance floor!

Everybody to the dance floor, time to dance
If you really wanna dance, then clap your hands!
Everybody to the dance floor, time to dance. [hands clap to the beat]
If you really wanna dance, then clap your hands!

All right now, this first part of this dance we call the Earth Walk
You heard of the Moon Walk? Well this is the Earth Walk. It goes like this:

Put your right foot forward
Put your left foot forward
Put your right foot forward
Put your left foot forward

See? It looks just like you're walking on the Earth!
Now do it double time, and add a turn around at the end, and it goеs like this:

Right foot, left foot
Right, left, turn around!
Right foot, lеft foot
Right, left, turn around!

Now scream! (aaah!)
Everybody scream! (aaah!)

Household use only. Caution, do not immerse in water
Warning, to prevent electrical shock unplug before cleaning
That was a shout-out to all the toaster-owners in the house

The next part of the dance is called the Happy Cow
First you gotta hunch over and make your fingers into horns. And then you do this:

Tip to the left
Say "MOO!" (Moo!)
Tip to the right
Say "I'm a happy cow!" (I'm a happy cow!)

Now you got it, do it double time, here we go, here we go!

Tip to the left, (Moo!)
Tip to the right, (I'm a happy cow!)
Tip to the left, (Moo!)
Tip to the right, (I'm a happy cow!)

Earth Walk!
Right foot, left foot
Right, left, turn around!
Right foot, left foot
Right, left, turn!

Everybody scream! (aaah!)
Just scream! (aaah!)

Everybody gargle Cher!
[For 4 measures, we hear four people gargling Cher songs
Simultaneously, in particular we hear "Do You Believe In Life After Love"]

Remember, I am the originator of the Dada Slide
If anybody tells you different, fart in their face
And have their name legally changed to
"Gladys The Barbarian"

Now this is the tricky part of the dance
We call it the Virtual Hambone. Pay really close attention. Here we go:

Both hands out front
Spread your fingers like that
Pretend you're at a keyboard
Go 'Clacky clack clack'! (Clacky clack clack!)
Then clap your hands, [clap]
Quick left knee slap, [slap]
Quick right knee slap, [slap]
Then another clap! [clap]

Then you put it all together, double time, and it goes like this:
Clacky clack clack!
Clap-a-slap-slap! [Clap-a-slap-clap]
Clacky clack clack!
Clap-a-slap-slap! You! [Clap-a-slap-clap]
(Clacky clack clack!) [Clap-a-slap-clap]
(Clacky clack clack!) [Clap-a-slap-clap]

Happy Cow!
Tip to the left, (Moo!)
Tip to the right, (I'm a happy cow!)
Tip to the left, (Moo!)
Tip to the right, (I'm a happy cow!)

Earth Walk!
Right foot, left foot
Right, left, turn around!
Right foot, left foot
Right, left, turn!

Everybody scream! (aaah!)
One more time! Scream! (aaah!)

Hey, has anybody seen my car keys?
It's got a key chain of My Little Pony on it
Oh wait, they're in my pocket. Nevermind
Okay, here we go y'all

Now this is the part of the dance called the Hyperactive Flamingo
You heard me right, Hyperactive Flamingo. It's real simple

Right hand in the air
Now make a beak
Put your left hand back
Grab one of your feet

Now hop one time! [1 musical sting]
Now hop two times! [2 musical stings]
Now hop three times! [3 musical stings]
Now hop twenty-seven times! [27 musical stings]

…Keep going… …Almost there!...

Scream! (aaah!)
Let me hear you scream! (aaah!)

Everybody vote Republican!
[For 4 measures, we hear four different fuddy-duddy
Murmuring voices saying why people should vote for
Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan, George Bush, etc.,
Simultaneously.]

Okay, now's the time when we take everything you learned
And bring it all together. Do the Dada Slide! Are you ready? Here we go!

Earth Walk!
Right foot, left foot
Right, left, turn around!
Right foot, left foot
Right, left, turn!

Happy Cow!
Tip to the left, (Moo!)
Tip to the right, (I'm a happy cow!)
Tip to the left, (Moo!)
Tip to the right, (I'm a happy cow!)

Virtual Hambone!
(Clacky clack clack!) [Clap-a-slap-clap]
(Clacky clack clack!) [Clap-a-slap-clap]
(Clacky clack clack!) [Clap-a-slap-clap]
(Clacky clack clack!) [Clap-a-slap-clap]

Hyperactive Flamingo!
Hop 16 times! [16 musical stings]
…Yeah! Now you're all doing the Dada Slide!...

Everybody scream! (aaah!)
I wanna hear you scream! (aaaaah!!)
Come on and scream! (aaaaaaah!!!)
I said scream! (AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!)

[At this point we hear TV's Kyle, Insane Ian, Soggy Potato Chips
And Odd Austin begging to be released from the crazy person
Who has them held captive in a pit in the basement of his house
This lasts through the rest of the song.]

Scream all you want! There isn't a person around for miles
Ain't nobody gonna hear you. Now, it puts the lotion
On it's skin or else it gets the hose again!

Puts the lotion on it's skin
Gets the hose again
Puts the lotion on it's skin
Gets the hose again
Puts the lotion on it's skin
Gets the hose again
Puts the lotion-
Hey! Where's my dog, precious?
Hey you, leave my Precious alone!