South of the Border

Cool it now, that's wonderful
Sure got a good crowd here tonight, got a good bunch here
Everybody’s eating and drinking
I like to say it's just a check
You know, a lot of you don't know this, but Custer laid down at his last stand
I’d like to do a little tune, though, for you now
It's a real true to life scene
Took place during the war times, a fella made a lot of money, large amount of money
Went down to Mexico and bought him a great big place
Great big huge haci-haci-haci-whatchacallit
You know those huge with the—it was a big one
He was down there in Mexico, and he was living the life, laying up all among the cactus
And that stuff—what is that stuff? I forget the name of it
But he was there in Mexico and he was losing money at the race track, all his savings
Had to finally get a job working on the railroad, had to leave home every three days
Had to leave his wife there at the house by herself
And things got so rough on the railroad, he had to take in a roomer
Mexican fella it was, think his name was Gonzalito, Gonzalez, Pedro, you heard of me
Yeah, Pedro moved in his house, he left one day for a three-day trip
He never had an idea that this fella he took in his house as a border
He didn't know his wife—he knew that the hall where they would—and finally, that dirty dog, that bum, that son of a gun
He was that boarder, that louse of a boarder
Who else could it be? When I was out to work, I think that jerk, stood in for me
I didn't get angry, but it drove me so wild
'Cause he was the father of my wife's second child
I said to that boarder, you're ruining my life
'Cause when I made that price with you, that didn’t include my wife
What have you done with my baby while I was away?
Were you south of her border in your Mexican way?
When the baby’s first words were, "Mañana," then I, I could plainly see
That the kid was a real Mexicana, and there's no Mexican blood in me
So I stabbed that boarder the Mexico way
I stabbed him right between his Rio Grande and his Santa Fe
I cut off his bolero, now no more can he stray
South of anybody’s border, in any kind of way
I-yi-yi-yi (I-yi-yi-yi) I-yi-yi-yi (I-yi-yi-yi)
I-yi-yi-yi (I-yi-yi-yi) I-yi-yi, I-yi-yi