Girls In School

Friend of mine was making out on the corner the other night
He had a pretty girl with him, I stopped him
I said, "Hey, Steve, come on over, I wanna talk to you a minute"
He left the little girl standing there by the mailbox and he walked down
I said, "Where you get this pretty girl?" I said, "What's her name?"
He said, "Something sound like—I just met her tonight—her name sound like Chiffonier"
I said, "Chiffonier, chiffonier is something with drawers"
He said, "Well, her name must be Smith then"
Here's something at you, folks, I just wanna bring up a few more subjects
Confucius say man who loses key to girl's friends apartment gets no nookie
But I've had the dinner down here, a guy sat down, he said the shot were new select
Waitress said, "I'm not the chef, the chef's back there in the kitchen"
He said, "Well, tell the chef give me some of that turtle soup you got on the menu"
Waitress said, "One turtle," chef said, "Yo"
This guy changed his mind right in the middle and said, "Hey, waitress, can I change that and get me some pea soup?"
She said, "Alright—hey, chef, hold that turtle, make it pea"
You know what one belch said to the other belch, said, "Do you wanna come out with me or stay in and be a stinker?"
Here's a—thank you, miss for coming in late anyway
And here's a very short poem:
I met a chick who was willing, not using penicillin
Then I just writing a new song, it's called "Cuddle Up a Little Closer, It's Shorter Than You Think"
Guy walked in a bookstore and he asked the lady for a book, he was going to buy a book for a friend of his on a ship
He told the woman, he said, "I can't remember the title but it's about a Hollywood playboy who hates dames
And in the beginning, he finds out she's one of 'em, and in the middle, he really finds out she's on of 'em
And then finally, he makes her in the end
Katie's Beauty Parlor, you been in there? Any girls been?
I was in there today and all the girls in there had their hair done
All of them were talking about an old lady who was a customer in the shop
They said this old lady has a young soldier, 22 years old, that comes up to her house all the time and stays late at night
So this old lady just happened to have an appointment, she walked into Katie's and all the girls shut up and she sat down
And she knew they had been talking about her, this old lady did
She said, "I know you girls been talking about that soldier that's been coming up in my house, 'cause he's only 22 and he stays sometimes up 'til 4:30 and 5 in the morning
I want you to know this, it's just play-tonic friendship
And one of the girls corrected the old lady, said, "You don't mean 'play-tonic', you mean 'platonic'"
The old lady said, "No, I mean 'play-tonic'—it's play for him but it's a tonic for me"