Porn

[Skit: Director, Male Actor, Female Actor in Film]
(sighs) I think that my biggest fear, right now, is definitely getting 'the gush'.
As a director, I’ve seen 'the gush' close up. And it’s not pretty. Guy just gets locked into an ejaculation and, doesn’t stop until he’s dead.
(sexual moaning)
I like your big dog, fuck me like—
(male grunting)
First guy that ever was to get it, was Dean Dorsey.
(sex noises intensify)
I’ve seen the clip. He’s doing the snot-shot.
(male grunting turns to yelping)
Are you alright?
And, suddenly—
—can somebody come—
(cries intensify into screaming)
—there’s this real panic on his face, and he just keeps staring down at himself, and he’s whimpering, ‘oh my god, oh my god’, and it’s like a sad-voiced, freaky clown, he’s coming with tears in his voice, but they are not there, but it is bad.
Can somebody come?
I threw ice on his balls. Tried to de-stimulate him with a dog carcass. But he just kept popping the protein.
It took him three days to die. And, in all the time, he was firing the fuck-juice, and he was begging to be shot.
(screaming fades out)
Spunk expert explained to me that, the whole body just gets consumed in producing semen. You can eat all day and all night, but you can’t keep up when you’re shooting the moisturiser like a fucked-up oil-rig.
He was just, uh, twenty kilos, when he died. That is maybe about as big as two or three squirrels. And, when they cremated him, uh, they couldn’t burn his testicles.
(Dean cries)
(Female actor talks indistinctly)
Guy with the gush is suddenly in big demand for cream scenes all over town. There are special agents for it. You see a black limo with a flashing light and a siren, chances are that’s a jam-wagon with some poor kid in the back, groin going off like a sick snake, gush-agent clutching a supply of dick-nappies. Trying to cram in as many jobs as possible before the spunk turns red.
Yah, it, it goes red, and then it turns black. And that is when you’d better watch that you’re not piling the pearls into saint peter’s dress! No, but it’s not funny at all and, in the reality perception there is this tragic, and that is where it is. That’s why I am doing only soft-cock porn now. Um...these, uh, scenes, uh, where you just push it in with your thumb, or a 'winkelpoker', and it is flaccid.
Lot of guys are going invertebrate now. Doubt it’s not easy to keep jelly when you’re in a woman.
It’s not much fun, soft-cock. It is like trying to tighten up a screw with a maggot. And, keeping the lob in a sexy twat, that is very tricky. But I guess, in the end it is beating, uh, squirting up your squit to death.