Little Things

[Verse]
Feels like it shouldn't be over
That something I've missed on this way
But what's left to say about me?
That I try to feel great another day?
Everything I've said way before that date
But that didn't stop the brain to decay
Turn everything gray, before I could pay
More attention, but it maybe was the fate
Or maybe I've just found that I create
That mistake all around and that's what I hate
I gotta wake up somehow, it's already late
So don't wait, do it now, gotta seperate
Worse side of me that dominates
Lazier side of me that abominates
More afraid side of me doubting who I try to be
And everything that my own rules violate
It can be easy to say you could think, but not much harder to do
If only it was just me to bring this but it is also what they put me through
It could never be nice in the same time suffering twice
Sometimes I just wanna slice, cut myself open, again needless sacrifice
Everybody wanna put me in the coma
And it's really hard to find the way to not slip in undone, I
Might consider getting positivity, but how to come up
Against all that going out of and into my brain and I'ma
Slowly withering away, but still I feel I can save it from getting utterly
Depressing, with no exit, I just gotta get some out of me
And find out what is hard to see, like find completely other me
Getting back on the path to the one who I gotta be
Starting with smallest steps, millimeter after millimeter
It's the solution perhaps to make me concede that I am the defeater
When I'ma writing my raps, but not about running up to houses dumping the heater
Or talking for real about having imagined bitches and the money, I don't wanna be a cheater like that
Unless it's straight from your heart or some kind of creative script, could have been either
Ultimately though it's all up to you with your own minds and preferences, I'm not your leader
Some could say though, I never was and now I ain't dope
And just because they say so I should quit and they laugh and it couldn't get clearer
Like I do, I should just get through and continue my music as it gets neater
I just need some time and tools and reacting to hate is what I don't need
Therefore I put it here so it will chase me no more and I have to do it like a seed to grow
Using everything that I need to know to not fall but still be there
Opposite of when I look up to the world and I just see deranged faces
In deranged races just to only beat their opponents because of jealousy
I just wanna make it a fantasy
By the way, speaking about the races, I do fast rap, but neither
Did I nor do I and not even will I just spit the bullshit, be a fast mumble spitter
A DH courier with nothing but L to deliver for myself to take (Don't lose) 'Cause I'm not a fella to spit the same shit hella fast 'til your headache (Refuse)
'Cause "I'ma hit 'em with the venom when I get up in 'em and I [INAUDIBLE]" is not all I can say
Attacking such uncreativity and I try to stand up against it, don't take me away
I already waste too much time and every song comes with a delay
As I have to feel it to rhyme 'bout something so don't behave this way
Don't ask for some quicker sixteen when I pass through 'cause you ignorantly refuse to believe
And don't mess with me trying to laugh with your bastards and even record it to later retrieve
How fucked can they be? Can I even breathe? I just cannot let this shit get to me
I lay and I plead for someone to see what's happening here, just help me, please
Or fuck it, it's my problem and alone I gotta solve it here
And fuck everybody who's doubting me, so mainly fuck myself as I can see
And fuck myself for all these petty insults shot right at me
For change I get ready and surprisingly with myself I agree
You see how complicated it is when to smallest elements I break it down?
All these little hated mistakes forming into big problems I fight with now
The time is limited and this is the monent that I should finally take over it
Fitted piece by piece into my plan of an ultimate recovery
And now my duty is to warm up my heart so cold
And to start to see the beauty of this amazing world
Fix all that way and live my life, aim for the sun
Happy of these little things making sure in the end everything I've done
And that's real