California Dreaming, Pt. 1

[Verse: Kenny]
I wish that I could just see everything clearly
But I've been drowning in the dark
Can't help but push away when you try to get near me
It seems that all I cause is harm
And I can't seem to understand
No matter how I try, I can't become a better man
And losing you was never in the plan
I guess I'll have to look inside to find the strength to stand
'Cause now I'm back up on my lonely, back to acting coldly
Scared to face the fact I turned my back on most my homies
Staying in the past so much, I missed out on the moments
That was right in front of me, but I ain't even notice
I can't keep my focus, I stay steady zoning
Though I'm staying sober, I feel scared of all these omens
Try to open up but it feel like my word's been stolen
Only time I can is when I'm writing all these flows and
I just can't control it, feel like time is frozen
Riding on the beat and I feel like I'm finally home, yeah
I just want some peace of mind and I've been steady, hoping
California dreaming 'bout the destiny I've chosen, oh, oh

[Chorus: Kenny]
And I think that I might've lingered too long
I don't know if I'll survive if I don't move on
And I don't care about who's right and less 'bout who's wrong
All I know is I ain't been okay in too long
(All I know is I ain't been okay in too long)

[Verse: guardin]
Yeah, yeah, yeah
I've been wide awake, all alone in my bed
Thinkin' 'bout the times we had together, wishin' I was dead
But my problems lie much deeper, embedded up in my head
Tryna hold it all together, this weather is such a dread
Doin' ninety-five on the freeway
Tryna feel alive, bumpin' T-Pain
Then our song came on and I lost it
You can see it in my eyes, I'm exhausted
Numbin' the pain with these drugs, gettin' bit up by these bugs, ayy
My mind's a basement that's flooded, feelin' it all in my gut, ayy
I just wanna be okay, wake up and start like today's a new day
I got one hundred forty-two days left to change, but this rain has got me feelin' strange
Maybe it's the potent in my potion
Puffin' marijuana to rid of all these emotions
Cloudy days of gray are my forte, I fucking know it
I've been stagnant on my floor, hopin' that I don't blow it

[Bridge: guardin]
That I do not blow it
Baby, I've been trying so damn hard, I hope you know it
2017, I'm still the same kid that you know and
Wherever you go, I'm down to go, I hope you know that, yeah
I hope you know that
All this time with you, I should've knew that I'm a poet
Write it all away until these skies finally change
Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow, feelin' rearranged

[Chorus: Kenny]
And I think that I might've lingered too long
I don't know if I'll survive if I don't move on
And I don't care about who's right and less 'bout who's wrong
All I know is I ain't been okay in too long
And I think that I might've lingered too long
I don't know if I'll survive if I don't move on
And I don't care about who's right and less 'bout who's wrong
All I know is I ain't been okay in too long