When Your Woman Leaves You

The worst thing about jail, is uh, that your woman come in and visits you, man. And they get funky when a nigga's locked up. Right, you be behind eight inches of glass, you can't reach them motherfuckers. Right, and she'd be talkin' about:

– I never did like your momma.
– Who are you talkin to?
– Talkin' to you, nigga, you're the one in jail. And fuckin' everybody!

"Please God, just let my fingers ease through this..." 'Cause you'd be in love and shit, you don't want nobody in your puss! Right, especially if you find one that fits! Don't want no motherfucker stretching your pussy out of shape. Yeah! Woman getting ready to leave, you have an argument about the pussy, right, it's like "Oh baby, please don't leave! Take the TV, but leave the pussy, please!"

Me and my lady, boy... I don't mind women leaving me though, see? But they tell you why. Eh, fuck that, just leave! Like, 'cause there ain't shit you can say when they're talkin' to you. Like you know it's true, all you can do is stand there and look silly, right. And shit gets too thick, right, nigga's got a great answer: "Well, fuck it, then! Take your shit and get out! Yeah, motherfucker, pack this shit!" You're packin' shit, pack this motherfuckin' shit... you're fuckin' with me, goddamit. I don't give a fuck, gonna put it under your drawers, I don't give a fuck where you put this shit. Shit, I'm gonna find me some new pussy.

Women come back at yo ass, alright, you know: "Yeah, two more inches of dick can find some new pussy here!" Haha, see, no... so you're just tryin' to fuck with me, see. Hm, no, you do want me to jump on your ass, so you have something to say when you leave. Uh-uh, I ain't going for it, shit, I know the dick was good to you. If it wasn't good, why was you hollerin'? "I was hollerin' to keep from laughin' in your face!" – Not all the time...

You have to regroup on a woman, jack, you know. 'Cause they out-think our ass. But we out-reason them motherfuckers, see. If we get two minutes, man, all we gotta do is get two minutes, but it's hard to break them motherfuckers up when they a roll going. They leave you in the middle of four, babbling. "Baby, ba-buh-buh..."

You have to go to your psychology bag on their ass: "Ey, baby, ey, wait. Fuck all this argiung, you know what I mean? Let's uh, let's be cool, alright? Just take your time and pack your shit. Alright? Take your time, pack your shit. Put your shit in the bag. Is that bag gonna be big enough? 'Cause if not, you can use one of mine. Alright, you cool? You got money and everything? 'Cause I can give you some. You don't need no money, you cool? Good. No, what do you mean 'why am I being...' I just want it to be right, shit, I can't make you stay if you wanna leave. You just go ahead and pack your stuff, you understand? We started off as human beings, I want it to end that way, you dig...? All you have to do is find another way out of here, other than that door! 'Cause if you try to leave me, bitch, I'm gonna kill yo ass! Now put the motherfuckin' bag down! I said put the goddamn bag down."

And no matter if you get to calm her, the woman goes:
– Get your ass out, goddammit!
– I'm leaving.
– I don't wanna see your ass again!
– Don't worry, you won't.
– Aaahh!! I'm gon' kill the dog, 'cause I ain't feeding the motherfucker! Get yo ass away. (mwah) C'mere, why didn't you bite the bitch?

Shit, I had one lady left me, she had a dog, and when she left the dog came up and talked to me. "Hey Rich, uh, I'm fixing a split, I know it's been a pleasure, don't get me wrong, you know what I mean? But you a little tardy with the food, nigga." And she'd feed the motherfucker three times a day, you know what I mean? "So I'm gonna check out, you take care, yeah. I'm gonna leave a little pistol over here for you, to remember me by. Take care."

Could I get some water? Does anyone have any water? (Yeah, I got some over here!) Just some clear water. Oh, you got some? Oh, thank you very much... "$2.50", nigga said. Nigga was serious too! He was not joking. Maybe I drink this, sometimes it'll be up here, man, and you wipe that shit all over the side of your lips. You're gonna be nasty-looking, you know. And you niggas wouldn't tell me either, right, you know that? You'd be sittin' out there, like: "Look at that nasty motherfucker."

Just, yeah... it sure would help with a little ice in this mother, goddamn. This some nasty shit without some ice. Huh? (I ain't gonna put my hand in there.) No, nigga, don't put your big motherfuckin' hand in there. Damn, woo! If your dick anything like your hands, I feel sorry for your woman! Goddamn, man.