Our Text For Today

White church is too scary for me. They make that weird noise when you go in, they have that song "oooh... aaah..." A picture of Jesus hanging around, looking at your ass. Black church you get a show with your money, see. White church, all they do is "Jesus was one for by". Black church – they get down. "Our text for today consigns laugh in the beginning, as it mainfests itself to the eternal complexities of renounciation, as opposed to juxtaposition of the inferior mind. Uh, let us turn our text to uh... yeah, sign my way, man. [?] Let's turn our text to the Book of Wonder, where it say a boy was born in hard-time Mississippi, surrounded by four walls that were not pretty. His parents (that's two peoples), give him love and affection. Just to keep him strong, move in the right direction. Give him just enough, I said just enough, for the city."

Then he shifts on yo ass, right, you know, he'd be gettin' down. "You know, I first met God in 1929, I never will forget this. You see, I was walkin' down the street. I don't believe you heard me! I said I was walkin' down the street. I was not runnin, I was waaaalkin', eatin' a tuna fish sandwich. And I heard this voice call unto me, and I knew it was the voice of God. For it came from within a dark alleyway, as only the voice of God can come. However, my brothers and sisters, I did not venture down that dark alleyway! For it might not have been the voice of God, but two or three niggas with a baseball bat. God only knows! And he wasn't talkin', and I wasn't walkin'."

[Outro: Jack Curtis]
Ladies and gentlemen, the one and only Richard Pryor! Richard Pryor, beautiful.