(What Girls Shouldn’t Say During Sex)

[Spoken Stand-up]
Thanks
I'm going through a little bit of a breakup situation right now
Which sucks
And, uh, my friends are tired of hearing about it
It's been about seven years or whatever, but still
When something like that happens and, uh
I was seeing a girl recently who was cool
I don't think she knew, however, and this is important for girls, uhm
There're certain things I think girl aren't supposed to say in the middle of having sex
You know, like, I have no problem if you're having sex
And at one point the girl says "Hey, I really like, uh, your penis" or whatever
But this girl would always be like, uh, "Oh, wow, I really like penises"
I was like "Penises? That's..."
It's not that hard to put the word "your" in there
I guess it's what you're meant to say, and, uh
Here's the thing is I have no problem if you're having sex and at one point the girl says
"Hey, I really like it when you do this..." you know, down there, whatever that is
Uhm, but she'd always be like "I really like it when people...," uh
And I'm just like "People!?"
That's not the right word at all, that's not even like
Gender specific, you just pictured a big crowd of people at the fucking DMV or something