Weed vs Cigarettes

[Intro]
EPIC *Coughs* RAP BATLES OF HISTORY
STONER
VERSUS
SMOKER
BEGIN!

[Verse 1: Stoner]
Shit man, I don't want to be rude
But you're killing the vibe just by being here, dude
A mood swinging, short tempered, stressed out smoker
Heheheh, is this Batman vs The Toker?
You've got that Winston, I'll get the win stoned
I've got you shaking like withdrawal's kicking in bro
Used to be high class, a status expression
Now all that you signal is "I've got depression"
I smoke to chill out, you smoke a pack just to last
An addiction to nicotine? Think I'll puff puff pass
Like an Indica strain, I'll bring you right down, dummy
Spitting rhymes more potent than a THC gummy
(Rasta fire) Step aside bro I'm flammable
(Climbing higher) Tetrahydrocannabinol
And I'll be blunt like the labels on your packs
Instead of hearing your rebuttal, I'll probably get snacks

[Verse 2: Smoker]
Are you done? 'Cause I've been sitting here thinking, surely
I wouldn't miss anything vital if I took my break early
But Jesus fucking christ you had me crawling on the roof
You're not a little bit stupid, you're IQ proof!
I also smoke to calm my nerves, you're not the only one
But unlike your lazy ass I'm actually getting things done
Shit, I'm pulling triple shifts, my schedule's on shuffle
Only thing you'll get through a triple of is party size Ruffles
Hey, focus up, asshole! And drop the fucking vanity
Smoking marijuana is not a personality!
Yeah I've had it with the ganja pride bullshit, fuckin' bite me!
You won't get a medal for being useless to society!
Withdrawal has kept me from leaving cigs on the shelf
The reason you don't want to quit is 'cause you hate being yourself!
Alright that's it, I'm done, I don't care enough to fight
I'mma grab some air… Shit. Anybody have a light?

[Verse 3: Vaper]
Here's a light for you, how about a fire up your ass
Out here choking on that verse because your lungs are so black
(Yeah) Drop ya, I go high tec with each hit
Nicotine on demand, ain't no need for a bic (Yeah)
You roll up that green, think you livin' the dream
But your brain movin' slow like a dial-up screen
With a flavorful verse, my words just comes minty fresh
I couldn't sit through your bars with that ass on your breath
You call me addicted? I keep it discreet
Ain't no smoke alarms when I'm spitting my heat
I pull on my rig, take a hit, then I'm fine
While you fiending like the homeless tryna' work for a dime
So you don't really wanna fuck with the vape
Blow a cloud into your space replacing your stench with grape
Tryna' turn your teeth yellow while your skin turning red
The only trip you fuckers gettin's to a hospital bed

[Verse 4: Alcoholic]
My liver is cryin', my family is too *Burps*
But I'll take another shot 'cause that's all that I do
I'll sip and I'll chug 'til I black out or brawl
One drink turns to twenty, then I'm wreckin' the walls
I lost me some friends *Burps* I lost me some time
I wake up in strange places that really mess with my mind
I ain't proud, but I own it, this batle is raw
Ain't no vapor, no blunt's gonna break through this fog
So let me down another bottle so I can give it to you straight
You're a little fucking pussy if you're hittin' on a vape *Burps*
Put down your pussy stick; pick up an actual cig
Cuz no one wants to smell your fucking fruity gay little scents *Burps*
And yeesh, pothead, that funk is killing my vibe *Burps*
Smells like a skunk crawled into your mouth and fucking died
Oh….goodness, I think I'm gonna hurl
I'll take another shot to end this verse and make you- *Vomits*

[Verse 5: Methhead]
Fuck, fuck, fuck! The drunk's down, I need to run
The rest of you fuckers better not call 911
I told the cops last week that I was getting clean
Last thing I need is to show up on yet another crime scene
Weed, you fucking naturalist pussy, switch to chemicals
If you're chasing highs, I know a guy that's slinging fentanyl
Cigs and vapes, shit's the same, so here's some fucking wisdom
If you wanna get a kick, then shoot it straight into your system
The drunk's back up, so here's some disses for you too
Seems that everything coming out of your mouth is fucking spew
I'm gambling every time I'm taking more hits
But at least I'm not killing myself with carbonated piss
I'll show you motherfuckers how to tweak out like me
First you take some [Redacted] and you [Redacted]
Take a [Redacted] and carefully [Redacted]
And finally, add the [Redacted] for the [Redacted]

[Bridge: Methhead, Stoner, Smoker, Alcoholic, Vaper]
Uh huh! Yeah, that's how you get high FOR REAL, you know?
You get the rea- What is this music?
Holy shit dude, I think I'm like, reaching nirvana or something
You're not dying you fucking idiot, none of us are
*Hic* Yeah what he said. But then, what's happening?
Wait, fuck, no. Is this an intervention?

[Verse 6: Guy With a Life/Preacher]
(Bingo.)
All of your raps are laced with pain and despair
Wanna know my addiction? Sunshine and fresh air
Don't need to consume poison to see the value in life
All I need are my kids and my beautiful wife
I got a wonderful job that pays well
And I lift every day 'til my arms get swell
I don't sit around crying 'bout how life is unfair
Drooling all over my shirt and wiping cheese on my chair
But I ain't here to kick you while you're down, just please, listen
I've lost people I love to this stuff; I still miss 'em
You don't need to smoke, drink, or pop pills to be real
You just need to find the will and courage to reheal
So take my hand, let's walk through this dark cloud together
Just look forward and strive to be better
Drop your vices with pride, all my sisters and brothers
Life's too short to die young, let's take care of each other
NOW LET ME HEAR YOU SING!

[Chorus]
Look forward, strive to be better
'Cause only you can choose
If you win or lose (That's right!)
If you win or lose
Let's find the courage together
'Cause we can't change what's done
But we can heal as one (Alright, my brothers and sisters, let me hear you sing!)
Look forward, strive to be better (Woo!)
'Cause only you can choose (ONLY YOU CAN CHOOSE)
If you win or lose (IF YOU WIN OR IF YOU LOSE)
If you win or lose
Let's find the courage together (NOW I SEE YOUR STRUGGLES, AND I FEEL YOUR PAIN, WE CAN NEVER CHANGE WHAT'S DONE. BUT WE CAN HEAL. AS. ONE. SING IT!!!!)
'Cause we can't change what's done
But we can heal as one
Look forward, strive to be better (Now you'll always have to remember!)
'Cause only you can choose (That you decide!)
If you win or lose
If you win or lose (Now take it to the outro!)
Let's find the courage together
'Cause we can't change what's done
But we can heal as one