The Wild Man Fischer Story

[Almost entirely spoken, except for the refrain]

This song here is called "The Wild Man Fischer Story"—you rollin'? . . . You ROLLIN'? [sighs, chuckles, pauses, then . . . ]

In the year of 1961, I did it all in fun!
[upset] "DAVID!"
[blase] "What, Mother?"
"Larry's in the bedroom, David—he's SINGING!!"
"Larry, are you singing?"
[Larry emits an excerpt from "The Leaves Are Falling"]
"Mother, I don't know what he's doing, but I don't think he's singing."

In the year of 1962, I got thrown out of school!
"Now listen Larry, I'm the principal at this high school, you're not s'posed to sing in class!"
"WHAT'S WRONG WITH SINGIN' IN CLASS?!!"
"Lookit, Larry, look at all these other students around here, they don't sing in class . . . You know I like you, you know I like you to have you stay here, but when you go all day, go 'Serrano Beach', 'c'mon let's do the Taster', ng glk, you know, it's gonna drive, it's gonna drive somebody nuts!"
[Somebody—Larry or the principal?—whimpers and growls]

In the year of 1963, I was committed to a mental institution!
[hysterical] "David! Norman! Oh, David! We're gonna have to do something about Larry, David. He's driving me nuts, David, I can't stand him another day, David. We're gonna have to do something."
"Well why don't you commit him?"
"Great idea! Larry, you know Mother loves you . . . you know I'd do anything for you—you gotta understand, it's my arthritis, Larry . . . the doctors say I haven't got long to live . . . If you live here another month I think my arthritis will get worse, Larry . . . Why couldn't you be like all the other Jewish boys in the neighborhood?!! A nice decent boy . . . all these other, these other parents, their boys go out and work—what do my boys do? 'Merry go'—'Serrano Beach'—oh Larry, [sobbing hysterically] it's terrible!"
"Mother, I love you!"
"You love me, David!!" [more sobbing]

Aaaaaah—in the year of 1964, I was released from the mental institution!
"Mother, I'm back."
[riotously happy] "Oh David, he's HOME!! Oh Larry, the doctors pronounced you NORMAL! You're NORMAL, Larry!! Oh David, he's normal! Ha ha, oh David . . . "
"Larry, I heard that you're, y'know, the doctors say you're gonna be all right, you're not gonna sing anymore—"
"No, David, I'm gonna go out and get a job, I'm gonna be normal in society! Mother, just sign over the licence . . . I'll stay home, I'll be home early, Mother, everything's gonna be all right . . . Sir, can I have this job?"
"Well, it only pays a dollar and a quarter an hour."
"Okay."
"FISCHER! Sing us a song, Fischer!"
"Yeah, Fischer, why don't ya sing us a song!"
"I can't sing you a song, I'll get fired!"
[sweet girlish voice] "Fischer, [giggle] why don't you sing me a song [giggle]?"
"Oh okay, just one song, okay? [sings] C'mon, let's merry go, merry go, merry go round! Boop boop boop! Merry go, merry go, merry go round, boop boop—"
"You're fired!"

In the year of 1965, I was committed to the mental institution again!
"David . . . [sobbing] oh, David . . . "
"Mother, calm down!"
"David, how can you tell me to calm down! Larry's in the bedroom, David—he's saying 'balls', David! . . . Oh David, he's got those girls up there, David! 'Balls'—I don't know what he means by that, David! Oh, this is terrible, David! David, we're gonna have to commit him, David, he got fired, this is terrible—NORMAN! DAVID!!"
"Mother, I'm going out with a girl tonight, will you leave me alone?!"

Ah—in the year of 1966, I was released from the mental institution again!
"Mother, as you know, they released me."
[sobbing] "Oh . . . Don't tell me about it—tell me about it . . . Larry, you'll never be normal . . . they say you're a paranoia schizophrenic . . . [sighs, composes herself] Larry, you know Mother loves you and everything, but you must, you know, make it out on the own in the world and be a good boy and make mother proud of you—"
"I will, Mother!"
[kisses Larry] "You know Mother loves you—I'll always be thinking of you, Larry!"
"Mother, I'm gonna go out there, I'm gonna be a big singing star—"
[alarmed] "DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT!!! The doctors told you to get off that subject!"
"Mother . . . really! I mean, lookit, there's, uh, look at all the other singers that are out—Sonny & Cher, the Beatles—I could be big too, y'know, if I try hard!"

In the year of 1967, do you wanna hear a new kind of song for a dime!
"Pardon me, sir, uh, would you like to hear a new kinda song for a dime?"
"Yeah, but I'm late for my next class, man, I mean, you know, I gotta, you know . . . "
"Okay . . . [gives off that indescribable sound known only to a very few as "The Leaves Are Falling"] [growls:] The leaves are falling!"
"The leaves are what?"

In the year of 1968, have I made a mistake?
Will I end up a bum? Will I end up a crumb?
Will I end up in hell? Will I end up in jail?
Will I end up in Jesus? Will I end up in trees?
Will I end up rich, rich, rich, RICH!!
Wild Man Fischer, Wild Man Fischer
Merry go, merry go, merry go round, boop boop boop, merry go .