Larry & His Guitar

WMF: [sings] SO YA WANNA BE A ROCK 'N ROLL STAR, SO GRAB YOURSELF AN ELECTRIC GUITAR [bangs tunelessly on acoustic guitar], and learn how to play [suddenly stops banging]—you can see I don't know how to play this guitar, I'm just, y'know [plink plink] I'm just playin' it y'know . . . I don't think I'll ever be able to learn how unless maybe Frank Zappa teaches me or Bob Dylan, but they're always busy, y'know, people like Bob Dylan and Frank Zappa, I mean I mean they got too many things to do—I'll, I'll learn how eventually, if I can find a teacher who's, heh, uh, y'know, uh . . . um, who is more—uh, who can under— y'know, who can take on a nervous person, y'know, who c— I mean I think, I think I can learn how to play—I don't know if he'd be willing to teach me, simply because I, y'know, I keep—I'm very jumpy sometimes, I I I break guitars sometimes, I broke my
Cousin's, I m— I think I broke my cousin's guitar but I'm not sure . . . uh, I didn't mean to, I just, heh heh, heh heh . . . y'see the engineer's gettin' nervous, the recorder, he's gettin' nervous back there, 's afraid I'm gonna break this guitar, heh heh [starts plunking on it], huh huh, but uh y'know Frank Zappa, he ain't worried about it because if I do break the guitar it just comes out of my paycheque and I pay for the guitar . . . yeah . . . Excuse me, I just, I left my shoes out there and I'm barefooted in here, and like, I, y'know, I don't wanna catch any kind of sickness, y'know, like, I uh don't wanna die young, I'm a very young man, I'm only twenty-three years old, I'm six-one, I got curly hair, I got brown eyes—I have to admit I'm no J— I don't look like Jim Morrison, y'know—I mean every time he gets up on there, y'know he, the girls are crazy, but I don't think they're gonna go crazy over me, um, unless they're, y'know, I mean, I I like girls, believe me I like girls, but I'm not gonna say I'm no Jim Morrison, I'm not gonna say I'm no John Lennon, I'm not gonna say I'm like the Monkees neither. [sings] I'm a believer! [bangs guitar] Some people say I'd make a pretty musician, but I've always argued, I, uh, it's gonna take me a long time to learn how to play this . . . [starts banging noisily on guitar] How's it sound? [more banging] You like it? [bang bang bang] I might be a good musician yet! Wouldn't it really surprise you if I played as good as Mike Bloomfield or Eric Clapton or, y'know . . . [bang bang] Wouldn't it really surprise you? Y'know, I m— anything's possible, y'know . . . y'know how, y'know what I'm gonna do once I start learning how to play guitar, y'know, I might be able to uh make 'em go up and down and turn it around, y'know, heh heh [plunk plunk] go up, around, ha ha! Now I'll experiment now!
Here, here's a song called "Sunshine of Your Love"—[plunk plunk] "Jumpin' Jack Flash"—[sings] Jumpin' Jack Flash! It's such a gas! [more guitar noises] Y'kn— I'm at the beginning stages now, msshh heh heh! [still more guitar wanking; resumes singing] JUMPIN' JACK FLASH, IT'S SUCH A GAS!! WOOO!!! [wanka wanka wanka] This guitar, I hope I don't break it, it's only—don't forget I'm just starting out on a regular everyday guitar, but—one of these days I'll get one of those big amplifiers, y'know—heh, could you picture me with a big amplifier goin' [strike up the next number]—