People’s Space Program

I want to be monsignor. I want to be bishop. I even want to go higher than that. (Like a Pope?) And when I said... no, even higher than a Pope. I want to go to outer space. I want to go real high. You know, ever since I was a little kid, I always had dreams of being an astronaut. But I knew in the back of my head I had no chance. You have to be either American or Russian, they're the only ones who got a program. But you know, even if you're American, the chances of going to outer space arе very slim. It's all congressmen and nеphews, all Protestants. It's all just this clique, engineers going to space.

But I saw this fellow on Italian television, it was American man named Carl Sagan. And it was on this show, the Mike Buongiorno Show. Mike Buongiorno is kind of like the Italian Johnny Carson. Johnny Carson of Italy, they call him. And he had Carl Sagan over there, and he was asking him: "If Italy wanted to start a space program, how much would it cost?" And this Sagan, he says: "It would cost 200 million dollars." And that is my goal. I am trying to raise 200 million dollars. I'm trying to start something that I call the People's Space Program. Isn't it about time one of us went to outer space? Instead of all of the congressmen and nephews, the engineers, straight types?

What I would like to do, I'm trying to get $1 from 200 million people. And when people send in a dollar, I want them to send in a little card with their name and address written on it. That's your ascent of, because I'm gonna take those cards, put them in a big, big hopper, and I'm gonna draw out 100 names. And there's gonna be room in the spaceship for 101 people, for the People's Space Program. 200 million is what I need, so far I have 12 dollars. I know it's not much, but it's a start, it's a beginning.

You know, Columbus, when he left Spain, he just didn't put up the sails, and waved goodbye, and says, you know, "I'm going to discover the United States of America". He didn't know where he was going. Was very small time when he started, and he had to roll out of the harbor. And I mean, was just like six, seven people waving in front of the shore. It was no big deal. And these $12 that I have, the money you're gonna send me, those dollars are like rolls of the ore; getting into People's Space Program — off the planet Earth, in the direction of a better life in outer space for everybody. First thing... [clapping] Thank you, I know every clap is a dollar. And now, I had 12, now I have 16. It's enough for stationery, almost.

Right now I have to figure out, we're gonna leave January 1, the year 2002. That's blast-off date. Actually, we could be ready couple of months before that, but I don't wanna leave in 2001. You know, just sounds too cliche-ish, you know? And also, unlike 2001, there's gonna be no classical music on the People's Space Program. Only rock and roll, becuase that's the people's music. And I think rock and roll, that's what this planet has to offer to all these other people in the universe. I mean, what else do we have to offer? You know, we're so behind everybody.

You see, there's probably like UN of outer space, "UP" they probably call it. You know, United Planets. And you take some scientist-engineer type from Earth, what's he gonna tell them? You know, talk about atomic energy? Talk about telephones, television, you know? They got all that, they don't even need televisions, probably. They're just thinking in their minds, and they could get the picture. They're so advanced, what are we gonna tell them, like about Drano? You know, it would be like the smartest man from 200 years ago, if he came here now, you know, what could he tell us? Right? It's like Ben Franklin, you know, what's he gonna talk about? The, what do you call, uh... lightning rod? Who cares?

But we, if we have musicians, if we have rock and roll, Chuck Berry for instance (yeah!) You take Chuck Berry up there in outer space — they're gonna be impressed. You get Little Richard singing "Good Golly, Miss Molly" — they're gonna listen, you know what I mean? It's not like a guy talking about Drano. Chuck Berry is gonna come, by the way. I did talk to him about it, I invited him. I was gonna invite Little Richard too, but I've kinda backed off. He's gone through so many changes, every two years he's into something else, you know? Now he's into selling Bibles.

Theodore Roosevelt once said: "You never really know a man, till you go camping with him." And I think in the future, they're gonna say: "You never really know a man, till you go to outer space with him." And I don't wanna go to outer space with no Bible salesman. You know, excuse me, but no thank you. We'll take his records though, but not him in person, you know. And I think we're gonna take a lot of 45s with us on board, 'cause you know, it's all supply and demand, right? And like, a Chuck Berry 45 is worth a lot of money, right, on Earth. But once you get to outer space... believe me, the chances of running across somebody on some other planet, with a 45 of Chuck Berry — very slim.

So it's gonna be worth a lot of money, and you could probably trade it for a mansion with horses and vineyards, everything. So we're gonna be rich! You know, it's not like just immigrants coming over to a new country, looking for a job. We're gonna have all of these 45s... it's gonna be like Marco Polo going to Japan, you know? We're gonna be as welcomed as Marco Polo, when we get out there to outer space, it's gonna be wonderful.