Mr. Tipsy

[Well, that was real (?)]

Urine seeps through his snowsuit
Down his leg and into his boot
He almost falls into a fire
Next month his AAA card will expire

Mr. Tipsy
With ballpark [?] tickets
In two weeks he'll be cheering
"Go Browns!"

He's been sleeping with his wife
Drunk his whole life
I don't know how he'll get home
His Jeep Cherokee's out on loan

Mr. Tipsy
With ballpark [?] tickets
In two weeks he'll be cheering
"Go Browns!"

He collects all the football cards
On his bulletin board he pins up the stars
He burns his Steelers-Browns [?]
Now his [?], he's got to go

Mr. Tipsy
With ballpark [?] tickets
In two weeks he'll be cheering
"Go Browns!"

So he turns to Darrell, and he explains this to him
Now is not the time nor place to be tipsy
For chrissakes