Expectant mothers look so good today—when I was a youngster, they looked terrible
They wore those dresses that button up the front, and every month, they leave a button open
And pretty soon, there it was—YOU
But today, young expectant mothers have shops to go in and buy them maternity frocks
Fella in New York tonight's a millionaire because he designed the first frock for an expectant mother, and to sell more of these frocks in New York City and any other city in the United States, and the fellas that sell these frocks to expectant mothers are called "mother frockers"
And like I said, there are more mother frockers in New York than any other city in the union
But next month, they're opening up a champagne plant here in Las Vegas because concentrated here in Las Vegas, a particular type of a worker that they need in the making of a great champagne product—you need champagne, a bottle, a cork, and a label. And out of these four items, the cork is the most important, because the cork holds the champagne in the bottle, and that's where your money is. And you know how hard it is to get that cork out the bottle—you have to squeeze that cork, and pull it and twist and bend it, and pretty soon, that cork'll pop *pop*. And when it pops, that cork swells, swells so big, you can't get it back in the bottle. That cork swells because it's been soaked in a special solution to make it swell. And the fellas that soak this cork are called "cork soakers." And the reason why they're opening up here in Las Vegas is 'cause there are more cork soakers coming here to Las Vegas than anywhere else on earth. And next month, the mother frockers of New York are coming out here to hold their first convention. They're gonna combine forces with the cork soakers of Las Vegas. Now, friends, you want to have some fun, get your tickets early. Tickets are only 69 cent. Get your ticket and come on out with us, and I'll bet you'll never see that many drunken mother frockers or cork soakers in your whole entire life. I'll see you here, June 8th, thank you very much.