If Gregg Yeti Doesn’t Rejoin The Flashing Astonishers I’m Going To Kill Myself

[Verse 1]
Astonishers are Flashing in The Cuse
They drink and rock and gaze down at their shoes
Four melancholy marvels who kick ass
While lamenting 'bout broken stained glass

[Pre-Chorus]
Now Bob plays Bee Gees covers on weekends
But he still hits stuff like a stuff-hitting God
And Dan Musclow's voice may be kinda whiny
But you can bet your girlfriend's given him and Chuck a hand job

[Verse 2]
Involuntary Bliss is what they're on
Their machine doesn't have a, a star on
From OPL to WEFest they have rocked
But now it looks like everything's gonna Stop

[Pre-Chorus]
Cuz their glasses-wearing weirdo guitarist
Who's known by anyone who's ever read a zine
Has decreased the band's Weezer-lookalikeness
By saying sayonara to the whole fucking scene

[Chorus]
If Gregg Yeti doesn't rejoin, I'll kill myself
Make Jello shots with Drano, and kill myself
Slit my wrists with a Triscuit, and kill myself
I'll bathe in battery acid, and kill myself
Shove a high-powered vaccuum hose down my throat, and kill myself
Stick my head in the microwave, and kill myself
Go scuba-diving and bite a shark's cock, and kill myself
Who's gonna find me shows now? I'll kill myself

Dammit