Fright of Their Lives - 2016 Original Demo

[Betelgeuse]
Okay, listen up I'm not gonna lie
Right now, you couldn't frighten a fly
Or scare a seagull off of a fry
You ever stop to ask yourselves "why?"

Both of you are super polite
Middle-class, suburban and white
Well all of that is finished tonight
Exept for the "white part", obsivoisly

Take your places
I want scary faces
Now go

No
No
No
No

How do I say this?
Both of you basically blow

No
No
Woah

Don't be so vanilla
Would a little anger kill ya?
C'mon, drop your panties
I'm trying to fill ya-
With wisdom and skill and the instinct to kill

[Adam, spoken]
Wow, it's really hard to scare

[Betelgeuse, spoken]
Jesus Adam, grow a pair!

[Betelgeuse]
Whatever it takes to make 'em go crazy
Rasin' the stakes by punching a baby
Scare 'em awake 'til they break
They'll be quaking in fright
'Cause you got some evil, deep down inside you
Put all of the Tupperware parties behind you

You gotta work, gotta haunt
'Til it hurts through the night
Give those guys the fright of their lives
Yeah, yeah!
Oh yeah, the fright of their lives

Let's start with things that you hate

[Adam]
Hate's a very strong word

[Barbara]
Perhaps when people are late

[Adam]
Or getting swooped by a bird

[Betelgeuse]
No! What fills you with rage?

[Barbara]
Ooh! Being mean to a pet

[Adam]
Chefs only use sage when they make beurre noisette

[Betelgeuse]
Okay!

[Barbara]
Or cotton candy!

[Betelgeuse]
Cotton candy?

[Barbara]
I find it too sweet

[Adam]
Folks who drop litter right out on the street

[Betelgeuse]
Okay

[Barbara]
Over-glutenous food

[Betelgeuse]
Right

[Adam]
Or when kids call me "dude"

[Betelgeuse]
Sure

[Barbara]
Oh, I find that so rude!

[Betelgeuse]
Well, there's lots there to use
Take a deep breath, give me your best primal scream

[Barbara]
Ahhh!

[Adam]
Barbra that was brilliant

[Barbara]
Really?

[Betelgeuse]
Try it again
Maybe this time pretend like you mean it

[Barbara]
Ahhh!

[Adam]
Wow, that was even better

[Barbara]
Thanks

[Betelgeuse]
Hey, forgive me if this comes out crass
But try taking that stick right from out of your ass!

[Barbara & Adam]
Oh my god!

[Adam]
You ever thought of maybe trying to be positive

[Betelgeuse]
I'm sorry, you want positive?
I'm positive that you are shit!

-INCOMPLETE-