Fire and Ice

[HAL MARCH, spoken]
It’s time for the one… two… four… eight...
Sixteen… thirty-two… sixty-four… “The
$64,000 Question,” brought to you by Revlon!
Tonight, Revlon launches a full line of
Cosmetics. Let’s meet the man behind the
Makeup, Mr. Charles Revson!

[CHARLES REVSON, spoken]
Women of America, we challenge you to take
Revlon’s questionnaire... and see you how you
Compare!

[REVSON]
Do women in sable excite you?
Do you close your eyes when you're kissed?
Do you hope the next man you meet
Is a psychiatrist?

[DORIAN LEIGH/MIRROR GIRLS]
AH-AH!

[REVSON]
Would you wear a sheath
And nothing beneath
Without thinking twice?

[REVSON & LEIGH]
Do you have the daring to try

[REVSON]
Fire and Ice?

[LEIGH & MIRROR GIRLS]
Fire and Ice! Fire and Ice! Fire and Ice!

[REVSON]
Do you like to dance with your heels off?

[LEIGH]
But wear them to shop at the store?

[REVSON]
Do you dote on Dom Perignon--

[LEIGH]
And lobster themidor?

[MIRROR GIRLS]
Mmm-hmm, I adore it!

[REVSON]
Is your bedroom suite a child-free retreat
To love's paradise?
What girl can afford not to buy--

[LEIGH]
Fire and Ice!

[MIRROR GIRLS]
Fire and Ice! Fire and Ice! Fire and Ice!

[REVSON]
If airlines were ticketing tourists
Would you take a space ship to Mars?

[MIRROR GIRLS]
Ah!

[REVSON]
Do you like to drive in racy convertible cars?

[HELENA RUBENSTEIN]
Like tawdry Park Avenue call-girls
Cheap makeup makes whores out of all girls

[ELIZABETH ARDEN]
Can she be the lovely Dorian Leigh?
Poor darling, if only she listened to me!

[HARRY FLEMING, spoken]
No! *That's* her?

[ELIZABETH, spoken]
Just look at her, she's as cheap as a paper plate

[HARRY, spoken]
And him!

[ELIZABETH, spoken]
Him? He's beyond vulgar!

[REVSON]
In cocktails with one dash of bitters
Do you like them better with two?
Do olives adorn your martinis
More than onions do?

[LEIGH]
Is power the scent
You prize on your gent
Instead of--

[REVSON]
"Old spice?"
It's not for the timid and shy--

[REVSON & LEIGH]
Fire and Ice!

[MIRROR GIRLS]
Fire and Ice! Fire and Ice! Fire and Ice!

[HELENA, spoken]
You put the fire with the ice, what do you
Have? A puddle! This is so exciting?

[LEIGH]
Do gypsy guitars make you wistful?

[MIRROR GIRLS]
Do soap opera plots make you laugh?

[LEIGH]
Do you keep Sinatra or Crosby on your phonograph?

[REVSON]
Ba-bum-bum-bum-ba-bah

[LEIGH]
Would you frost your "'do"
And blithely pooh-pooh your boyfriend's advice?

[MIRROR GIRLS]
Miss Dorian Leigh does, and why?

[HELENA, spoken]
Fire and *Scheiss*

[TOMMY, spoken]
It's "Fire and Ice"

[HELENA, spoken]
That's what I said. Right?

[HARRY]
Our out-of-town branches are dying

[ELIZABETH]
No!

[TOMMY]
B. Altman's dropping our brand

[HELENA]
What?

[HARRY & TOMMY]
Young women are buying up Revlon in record demand!

[REVSON]
Each week as my net worth increases
Those ladies are crumbling to pieces
I sell women sex for a buck-ninety-nine
The new world of Revlon is finally mine!

Do some older women resent you?

[LEIGH]
Can you keep ahold of your man?

[REVSON/LEIGH]
Do you like to play down and dirty like the big boys can?

[MIRROR GIRLS]
AH-AH-AH-AH!

[REVSON]
If you answered "yes"
To eight out of ten
Then the men in your life-

[MIRROR GIRLS]
And the life in your men-

[LEIGH]
Need not know the secret
By which we girls entice!

[REVSON]
Now you know the secret!

[LEIGH]
The secret between you and I:

[REVSON]
Fire and Ice!

[MIRROR GIRLS]
Fire and Ice!
Fire and Ice!
Fire and Ice!