Father Sarducci Answers Questions

Well, what I could do though, instead I thought maybe I could take some questions. If you wanna ask me some questions, you needed some advice and counsel... I'm your man. (Favorite sin?) Excuse me? (What's your favorite sin?) What's my favorite sin? Where are you from, man? My favorite sin, I don't know. Original sin. That means you thought it up yourself, you know. [applause]

(You like wearing black?) Do I like wearing black? Not especially. Not especially, but you know, the Pope — you know, is like the only clergy person who gets to wear white. Problеm with black is that, especially like in Romе, it's so hot in the summertime. Black like absorbs the heat. And if you're around the Pope, you know, he's wearing white so he's reflecting, it's like a double hot. You know, it's the worst.

(What's your best confession?) We can't, uh, talk about that kind of stuff, confessions. You know, that's like a top secret. I could sell you the tapes... [applause]

Yes, sir? (What is your opinion of the pill?) My opinion of the pill? Which-which pill do you have in mind, exactly? [applause] I know what you mean, I know what you mean. Y'know, I wrote this article, I got in a lot of trouble. It was uh, in my paper I wrote an article about birth control for dogs. Like, it's not a sin. You know, you could have your- your pet spayed, and it's like not a sin. I don't understand. If it's a sin for humans, it should be a sin for- to do it for animals too. In fact, it should be more of a sin. You know, a woman takes a pill, she knows what she's doing. You take a dog to a vet, you know, to have it spayed... thinks it's gonna go there to have its nails clipped or something. [applause]

I don't know, I have some problems with that area. Also I feel, you know, they say sex is only supposed to be for procreation. And I feel, if sex is only for procreation, then it seems that eating should only be for nutrition. You know? So next time you see these bishops that order some veal Milanese, lasagna, you know, you should tell 'em, you know, either donating a glass of wine [?], you know, take a vitamin pill, you know?

(What's your favorite commandment?) What's my favorite commandment? I like uh, you could eat chicken with your fingers. I don't know why, just, you know...

Yes? (I was wondering, what you look like without your hat on.) I look pretty much the same. [applause]