Drunk

A man was in a bar drinking, he gets so drunk that he punks all over his shirt. He goes up to the bartender. He goes “I’m in trouble now. When my wife finds out that I got so drunk that I punked on my shirt, she’ll kill me.” The bartender goes, “Don’t worry about it. Here is what you do, you take a ten dollar bill, then you go home to your wife say some other guy got drunk and puked on your shirt. And he said I’m sorry, here’s ten dollar to get it clean” I’ll try that and he goes back to his wife. And goes “I was at the bar and a guy puked 0n my shirt and gave me ten dollars to get it cleaned” and the wife goes “But you have twenty dollars!” the man goes “Oh, I forgot to tell you, he also shit in my pants”