Dirty Rotten Number

LAWRENCE
You may be master of
Your chosen occupation
With several strings of
Polo ponies in your stable-
You must remember all the same
That at the crux of every game
Is knowing when it's time
To leave the table
And it's important to be artful
In your exit-
No turning back, you must accept
The con is done
But now and then, you might recall
The moments when you had it all-
You had the charm
You had the talent
And, my God, you had some fun
It was a ball, it was a blast
And it's a shame it couldn't last
But every chapter has to end
You must agree
It was a joy, it was sublime
A splendid way to earn a dime
For a dirty rotten guy like me
When you look back on all your
Conquests and deceptions
You see a thousand flawless pearls
Set in a strand
Laid out from Biarritz to Rome
Each one as perfect as a poem-
An opus to be proud of though it's
Written in the sand
It was a ball, it was a thrill
You had the grace, you had the skill
To know exactly what to say
And what to do
You wouldn't trade a single day
Or have it any other way-
A dirty rotten guy like you

FREDDY
It's almost a religion-
The need to take a pigeon
And to play your part
With elegance and zest
But when it's time to fold the act
And your duffel bag is packed
Take comfort in the fact
That you've been working with the best
It was a blast, it was a ball
It was a gas, I loved it all
'Cause I was hanging with the man
And that's a plus

LAWRENCE
Aw, Freddy
You've got the verve

FREDDY
You've got the guts-

LAWRENCE
You've got the nerve-

FREDDY
You've got the nuts!

LAWRENCE
I guess we're dirty rotten crooks

FREDDY
We're dirty rotten schnucks

LAWRENCE
Dirty rotten guys

FREDDY
Oh!

LAWRENCE/ FREDDY
It was a trip, it was a blast
It was a shame it couldn't last
'Cause it was almost
Too prodigious to discuss

LAWRENCE
So we got screwed for fifty-grand-

FREDDY
I think we still deserve a hand-

LAWRENCE/FREDDY
Dirty
Rotten
Guys-
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