I Pooped My Pants (In a Bowling Alley)

Oh man, I pooped my pants again
Right in front of my family and my friends
It's not that I have a problem with controlling
It's just that we were here in this alley bowling

And I was in the middle of the best round of my life
I wanted to impress my family and my wife
We've been having troubles

It started when I scored my second strike
I was in just the kinda rhythm that I like
That's when my bowels told me it was time to get moving
I asked them to slow down, don't mess this up, I'm grooving

I kept getting strikes and I thought I was gonna make it
But eventually, my bowels decided that they couldn't take it
I stood there with my cheeks in a tight, tight squeeze
But that wasn't enough 'cause the poop started dripping past my knees

It landed all over the alley floor
The owner came and told me that I couldn't bowl there anymore
I begged him saying, "I'm just two strikes away from a perfect game"
He didn't care at all about that, he just called me a nasty name

And of course, now my wife wants to go through with the divorce after all
I guess next time I'm gonna answer when nature calls