Only Thing

[Verse 1]
Drugs are the only thing that make me feel normal
I'm a fuckin’ lonely thing that acts informal
Bitch, I'm unholy and mostly subnormal
If you look closely you can see I lack morals
I'm just a teen who thinks life is against him
Hides behind a screen and pretends to have ransom
On him, but in fact he’s barely a phantom
Not even eighteen, yet wrote a memorandum
A reminder that I gotta write the note
Before I down this bottle of pills I've approached
I wanna pop some pills and slit my fucking throat
And end my damn life while my lungs are full of smoke
Smoke from the weed I use to numb the fuckin' pain
I need this shit so I can feel somewhat sane
It's a shame that I've become what I came;
Fucked up mentally, and very far from tame
So why not come after me and lead a fuckin' witch hunt
You'll find me chillin' and smokin’ on a fat blunt
Fuckin’ on a fat cunt with no fuckin' mask on
My will to live? I ain’t got a fuckin' grasp on
That motherfucker, I'm extremely suicidal
I'm a piece of scat, motherfucker, seemly homicidal
I’m a fuckin' brat, man, so I routinely stand idle
Man, I guess I am my own goddamn rival

[Verse 2]
Yeah, I wanna end my life
I despise myself, so please shove a fucking knife
Through my goddamn heart and send me to the light
Please don't look at me, I'm an unpleasant sight
I release my pain with the words that I write
Smokin' from a glass piece, I do it with delight
I wish I was deceased, I might do that tonight
But honestly, I'm too pussy to do it, alright?
So I just sit here, smoking and writing
Down my feelings and provoking and fighting
I'm not healing, but I'm coping and residing
In my pain, I'm evoking my slighting
I don't know why I'm being so goddamn open
Everybody hates me; the embodiment of broken
Death awaits me, please leave shit unspoken
I'm terrible to talk to, ‘cause of all my emotions
I keep to myself and stay fuckin' isolated
I constantly weep and get all agitated
Hate being sober and I'm always being gravitated
To any damn substance when I'm aggravated
Like a fuckin' bowl or a bottle of vodka
Or the damn xans mixed with some Kamchatka
Bitch I'm as useful as a motherfuckin' Honda
I do shit by my own accord, and that includes the ganja
“Smoke away the pain” is a phrase I say often
Man, fuck the summer rays, that shit won't soften
My mean demeanor, so you better take some caution
I used to be a positive dreamer, but I've fallen
‘Cause I don't see the light in the world anymore
And motherfucker, I'm not afraid to explore
My deplorable feelings; it's self-loathing galore
But honestly, no one cares, ‘cause I'm always ignored

[Verse 3]
Arms full of scars from the cutting I've been doing
Razor blade stained; disgusting thoughts been brewing
In my fuckin' brain, my fronting's been improving
Been actin' happy as hell, you ain't misconstruing
I'm good at hidin' shit I don't want people to see
Sick of dick ridin' bitches, like some treacle, shit's juicy
My mental state's on a steep hill, I'm a prick you see
So if you try to talk to me, I'll say “who me?”
‘Cause everyone avoids me; I'm a fuckin' outcast
I'm void of emotions, I wanna get out fast
I'm annoyed, I wish there were a potion to blast
Me to the past; I've toyed with notions since passed
Wanna go back to times I didn't use drugs to cope
With the pain in my rhymes; I've started to lose hope
‘Cause it's been a minute since I felt any form of joy
I'm finished with life and being played like a toy