Your Children’s Happiness

[Mr. Halloran]
You know what I'm gonna do for you kids? We got this listing, just came in-

A floor-through in the lower slope

-two bedrooms, kitchen all redone-

A find!
But will I show it?
Nope!
I’m putting your names on the lease
And for the first whole year, I'll pay your rent
And all utilities
My wedding present to you
No, it's the least I can do
Expensive? Yes, I must confess
But you can’t put a price
On your children's happiness

A wedding is no place for coupon clippers! Right, Hurley?

Our girls

[Mrs. Halloran]
You should have seen

[Mr. Halloran]
Their weddings
Unbelievable
Wore my checkbook down to the bone

[Mrs. Halloran]
The food was

[Mr. Halloran]
The appetizer table alone

[Mrs. Halloran]
So much caviar!

[Mr. Halloran]
Beluga, of course

[Mrs. Halloran]
Flown in!

[Mr. Halloran]
Which cost about two months of what your rent will be
Worth every penny!

[Mrs. Halloran]
So beautiful!

[Mr. Halloran]
Their beaming faces

[Mrs. Halloran]
Tears of joy

[Mr. Halloran]
And fond embraces

[Mrs. Halloran]
We gave them

[Mr. Halloran]
The best and nothing less

[Mrs. Halloran]
You know you can't put a price
On your children's happiness

[Aggie]
Well, we thought we'd give the kids a present of a check—let them do what it is they want

[Mrs. Halloran]
Why, isn't that practical!

[Aggie]
Five thousand dollars

[Tom]
(involuntarily)
Five?!

(Aggie cuts him off with a glare.)

[Mr. and Mrs. Halloran]
So Ralph and Jane
Are saying they don't want a big affair
But who'd complain
To find a fancy hall and several hundred people waiting there?

[Mr. Halloran]
From the moment I discovered
That our daughters were engaged
I was burning up the phonelines
Like a war was being waged

And their dreams were all exceeded
In the weddings that I staged

[Mr. and Mrs. Halloran]
After all, your only flesh and blood
Deserve things in excess
And their special day is worth
The huge expenses and the stress
So, whether they want a fuss or not
The answer should be

[Mr. Halloran]
Yes!

[Mrs. Halloran]
Yes!

(Winston appears in the doorway)