Partners

(On the street, outside Tom's house)

[Sam]
Hey, Tom, you got a minute?

[Tom]
(calling to an unseen person already in the house)
Go on, Aggie, I'll be right in

Thanks for bringing the cab out to get us

[Sam]
Sure. I drove your shift last night; I wasn't planning on working a double!

So... how you doing?

[Tom]
...It's been three months... it's still hard to get my brain wrapped around

[Sam]
Oh, sure, it's tough stuff

Here's something might cheer you up; I didn't wanna say nothin' in front of the misses, your business is your business

Pasternak is selling his share of the cab

She's all ours

[Tom]
(surprised)
The cab's all ours?

[Sam]
That's what I'm saying!

So what's the matter?

[Tom]
...It's just that the three of us been ownin' that hack together-

[Sam]
-over twenty-six years!

[Tom]
Pastinak's retiring...

[Sam]
He's tired

[Tom]
Who ain't?

[Sam]
So? What's with the long puss?

(We move to Janey's bedroom:)

[Janey]
You don't wanna marry me?

[Ralph]
Of course I do, you know I do—this is just a little out of nowhere

[Janey]
Well, actually, I been thinking about it for a couple of days

[Ralph]
Days! Well, glad to know you're not rushing into anything!

[Janey]
Would you listen?

You know that my friend Kelly is getting married and moving out to California to go live with her folks, right?

[Ralph]
Since she's four months pregnant, it's none too soon

[Janey]
Exactly why they're flying. Problem is, there's only so much they can take on the plane, and then they got their car to consider

[Ralph]
So?

[Janey]
So—they need to hire someone they can trust, to drive their car and stuff to California

[Ralph]
...You mean you want us to, to drive the car?

[Janey]
Who's more trustworthy than us? It's perfect! First stop: City Hall, for a ten-dollar wedding—and then we're off on a California honeymoon! All expenses paid! Kid, you're marrying a genius!

(Back to the front stoop:)

[Tom]
Seems awful sudden, is all

[Sam]
Any less sudden, and we'd be retiring along with her!

[Tom]
Finally—our own cab, fifty-fifty

[Sam]
Partners

[Tom]
Just like that

[Sam]
Sitting in the bleachers
Now we're up to bat

[Tom]
Can't help feeling like a horse I picked came through

[Ralph]
We're getting married!

Imagine us:

Partners

[Janey]
A team for life

[Ralph]
Can't believe you're ready to become my wife

[Janey and Ralph]
Guess you wait long enough
A dream just may come true

[All]
And I finally get to be partners with you

[Janey]
But no big wedding
No big fuss
Nobody there
But the clerk and us
No one to satisfy
No one to please
And no catastrophes

Every wedding I attend
There's a fight scene before the end
Somebody's drunk
And somebody's nose gets out of joint
What's the point?
The point is:

[Janey and Sam]
Partners
Quick and neat
Sign a piece of paper, and the deal's complete

[Ralph]
How romantic

[Janey]
It's a merger, cut and dry

I don't mean to sound heartless-

[Sam]
He don't mean to sound heartless, but
Pasternak said they send you dough
When your kid gets killed in action
So he figures if he sells his share now
We can buy her
And he can retire

We'll get a third more money for a third more work
A third more sanity without that jerk
A third more profit if we ever cash her in
It's win-win-win!

[Tom]
So you're saying I should use the money the government sends us for losing our kid? I haven't even got it yet

[Sam]
Hey, if you can't trust your Uncle Sam! Meantime, all Pasternak wants is a deposit

[Tom]
Still, that's an awful lot of money. Plus, all our savings

[Sam]
Which you been saving for what?

[Tom]
(after a pause)
Can you come by tomorrow for the check? Give me some time to break it to Aggie. She's not the kind of woman you spring stuff on

[Sam]
You think this is gonna take some explaining?

(Cut to:)

[Ralph]
A lot of explaining! You know my folks: they're gonna want to make a big affair, like they did for both of my sisters!

[Janey]
And there's the beauty part: no time! We're not on our schedule, we're not on their schedule—we're on Kelly's schedule!

[Sam]
And suddenly I see a big improvement in our occupation!

[Janey]
Suddenly, a shiny little ring for me to grab!

[All]
All we have to do is take advantage of the situation

[Sam]
A windfall blows...

[Janey]
Kelly's belly grows...

[Ralph]
A quickie wedding, and a free vacation

[All]
We'll be
Partners
Almost there

[Ralph]
Feel like any moment, I could walk on air

[Janey and Ralph]
Guess, if you're lucky
One and one makes more than two

[Sam and Tom]
You and me
Partners!
Ain't it grand!
We bet all the chips on a winning hand

[All]
And it's even sweeter
'Cause it's so long overdue

But now I finally get to be partners

[Sam and Tom]
With you

[Janey and Ralph]
With you

[Sam and Tom]
With you

[Janey and Ralph]
With you