Way Out West in Jersey

[RODNEY, spoken]
Well, Mother Kramer, I see you developed a really nice tan.

[MRS. KRAMER, spoken]
Tan? It's probably jaundice. I never slept a wink in the whole time I was gone.

[GLORIA, spoken]
Oh, and the hoi polloi at the hotel were simply a scream, my dear.

[MRS. KRAMER, spoken]
Well, what can you expect from New Jersey? I always say the minute you cross the Hudson River you're in the wild west!

[RODNEY, spoken]
You're right, Mother Kramer.

[MRS. KRAMER, spoken]
Yahoo!

(sung)
Yippi-yi, away out west in Jersey
I dеclare these arе the thoughts I thunk
Yippi-yi, if Jersey looks like this to me
Either Jersey or me is drunk
By the time I reached Weehawken
With my banjo on my knee
Yippi-yi, I heard the natives talkin'
And I knowed that it wasn't me

[RODNEY, GLORIA & MRS. KRAMER]
Oh, New Jersey, oh, New Jersey
It's a land we proudly hail—All hail!
No matter what the weather's
You'll enjoy the tar and feathers
When you're riding through New Jersey on a rail

[GLORIA]
Yippi-yi, the cowboys in Hohokus
Haven't seen a woman in a year
Yippi-yi, when their minds begin to focus
They have got only one idea
Oh, I met with one in Rahway
He said courtin' was sublime
But I found that his way wasn't my way
Yippi-yi, and I shot him just in time

[RODNEY, GLORIA & MRS. KRAMER]
Oh, New Jersey, oh, New Jersey
It's a land we proudly hail—All hail!
You'll enjoy the friendly tussle
With the cactus in your bustle
When you're riding through New Jersey on a rail

[RODNEY]
Yippi-yi, across the Jersey border
At the bar, politicians are a plague
Yippi-yi, whatever drink you order
It turns out to be Hague and Hague
Oh, a buckaroo from Texas
Ran for marshal of Passaic
So much lead landed in his solar plexus
Now he rattles just like a snake

[RODNEY, GLORIA & MRS. KRAMER]
Oh, New Jersey, oh, New Jersey
It's a land we proudly hail—All hail!
You will bellow like an oxen
For a shot of anti-toxin
When you're riding
When you're riding
When you're riding through New Jersey on a rail