Doctor Crippen

[SAVORY, spoken]
Gloria Kramer, your fiancée, has disappeared. And police suspect foul play.

(sung)
Passion is not a laughing matter
And in love you must not fall
Unless for the sake of a woman
You are ready to give your all
Let me tell you about a lover
Who made the sacrifice
Let me tell you about a lover
Who never loved but twice

Here's to Doctor Crippen
Hawley Harvey Crippen
Lyin' in a felon's grave
When they tried him in court
He had one rеtort
It was all for Ethel le Nevе

[ENSEMBLE]
Yes, it was absolutely all for Ethel le Neve

[SAVORY]
Harvey Crippen was a doctor
Who'd be unknown to fame
If he hadn't met an actress
Belle Elmore was her name
She had promised if he'd wed her
She'd be the best of wives
An unfortunate proposal
Since it cost them both their lives

[SAVORY, ENSEMBLE]
Here's to Doctor Crippen (Here's to Doctor Crippen)
Hawley Harvey Crippen (Hawley Harvey Crippen)
Lyin' in a felon's grave (He's lyin' in a felon's grave)

[SAVORY]
But he told the guard
In the prison yard
It was all for Ethel le Neve

[ENSEMBLE]
He told the guard
In the prison yard
That it was absolutely all for Ethel le Neve

[SAVORY]
Belle Elmore was a vixen
Belle Elmore was a shrew
Nobody knows the embarrassment
She subjected Doctor Crippen to
He hired a secretary
Ethel le Neve by name
If she'd gone to work for somebody else
She'd be unknown to fame

[SAVORY, ENSEMBLE]
(Ooh) Here's to Doctor Crippen
(Ooh) Hawley Harvey Crippen
(Ooh) Lyin' in a felon's grave

[ENSEMBLE]
The felon's grave

[SAVORY]
But as he swung
He proudly sung
It was all for Ethel le Neve

[ENSEMBLE]
But as he swung
He proudly sung
That it was absolutely all for Ethel le Neve

[SAVORY]
Doctor Crippen liked her typing
Her lady-like self-control
She had an understandable figure
And an understanding soul
He prescribed for Belle a tonic
Dug a hole in the cellar floor
And then he packed in quicklime
What was left of Belle Elmore

[SAVORY, ENSEMBLE]
(Ooh) Here's to Doctor Crippen
(Ooh) Hawley Harvey Crippen
Lyin' in a felon's grave

[ENSEMBLE]
He's lyin' in a felon's grave

[SAVORY]
But he didn't mope
When they cut the rope
It was all for Ethel le Neve

[ENSEMBLE]
He didn't mope
When they cut the rope
And he gave absolutely all for Ethel le Neve

[SAVORY]
He put boy's clothes on his sweetheart
They fled to a country far
The law identified Belle Elmore
Through an old abdominal scar
He would never have been suspected
Of the police he would have made fools
But Ethel was observed at a party
Wearing Belle Elmore's jewels—

[MRS. KRAMER, spoken, pointing at RODNEY]
He did it. He killed her!

[LIEUTENANT, spoken, grasping RODNEY]
You're under arrest.

[RODNEY, spoken]
Wha— what for?

[LIEUTENANT, spoken]
The murder of Gloria Kramer.

[MRS. KRAMER, spoken]
What have you done with my baby, you fiend, you?

[RODNEY, spoken]
I haven't seen Gloria since she got off the bus!

[VENUS, spoken]
I dissolved her.

[MRS. KRAMER, spoken]
You what?

[VENUS, spoken]
I dissolved her.

[LIEUTENANT, spoken]
You're coming downtown, too.

[VENUS, spoken]
Cheer up, Rodney darling, don't look so glum! This is our honeymoon.

[ENSEMBLE]
Here's to Doctor Crippen
Hawley Harvey Crippen
Lyin' in a felon's grave

[DR. CRIPPEN]
I gave not only my life
But that of my wife
For the love of Ethel le Neve

[ENSEMBLE]
He gave not only his life
But that of his wife
For the love of Ethel le Neve