The yellow blanket

Thank god your angst is as relentless as my disdain
I only need to pretend we're capable of managing pain
Or accepting we're miserable, or that we don't feel at home
And that we are all our own versions of hell

Thank god for every little memory that keeps us awake
Thank god for every fucking second we spend feeling unsafe
Thank god for our dismay, thank god for all our loss
And i hope god has barely just begun

But i can't help it
I fail myself, but then

I awoke, comforted by blue
Looked around, not one sight of you
Opened the curtains, saw the sky
Let the bright squint my tired eyes

For a split second, heard your voice
Overwhelmed in tears for rejoice
Stared at the light and you were there
Drenched in the color of our care

Thank god i'm not the only entitled brat who thinks everything is his fault
Neither the only needy fuck who desperately preaches of self-help
But fails as an example, yet succeeds in struggling to handle
The barrier his parents helped construct

Since the cradle we were gifted, since the cradle we were smart
But once we left said solace, the bed of nails we lay on play their part
In rooting all the malice that should be dealt with in therapy
Where we attempt to learn we're not our own worst enemies

But i can't help it
I ruin, but then

We met in my dreams once again
To speak of hope towards an end
You said words of motivation
I made a silly distraction

We drank the last bottle of wine
Encouraged ourselves through tough times
You slept in my yellow blanket
Before me, but i'll allow

Thank god the sun is as relentless
As the face on my phone's surface
That wishes i were there

Thank god the sun is as relentless
As my fucking filthy canvas
Soiled by your care

Thank god the sun is as relentless
As my selfish stances
Demanding your despair

And i hope you're fucking terrified
I hope you're fucking lost
Because i don't want to be alone

The plan of indisposition came to complete fruition
And we are completely self-aware
Of the presence of despair leading us away from care
But the sun, oh, the sun

Thank god the sun is a relentless yellow blanket
It smells like me and you
Thank dog