(food & oz) is it a dagger or scepter that dangles from your earlobe?

You always were in favor of holding your breath
On the sharpest of inhales
And I was in favor of ignoring the roar of my belly
In protest against myself

And you'd tell me to eat as you stomped anxiously
As I ask if you're keeping yourself healthy company
Since we're both aware of the hell we raise upon ourselves
Kindled by lack of self-respect

We all have our bad habits and love to make contraptions
To process the denial and all of the blue
But the machinery conceived is not a charming time machine
It's a red tinted window for us to look through

One day this glass will crack and we'll see between the gaps
As we'll deny inevitable entropy
And as disappointment boils down we'll cross our footsteps
And ask "do you need a friend?"

I will always root for you
That'll never change
And things will get strange but how could you be a stranger
If I'm always thinking of you?
I will always be rooting for you

I can remember where we were June of '19
It was a hot winter day
I just got another failed relationship on my belt
And you didn't have many things to say

You rang me up to discuss what to do with broken trust
But the words, they never came out
You just sobbed for a minute or two before you said to me

"goodbye"

And it took us months to reconstruct our faces
Purple and frail, searching for food and Oz
And I carry that image not to torture me but remind me
Of the trail we will retake eventually

And if it takes us months to eat or breathe
Each day we'll remind each other
For what exactly? for what exactly?
Eat your breakfast and let the air out

Is it a dagger or scepter that dangles from your earlobe? alongside astral figures you leave on my desk at the home you've come to visit many times so we can trade glares and shut them off to intertwine 'til it doesn't feel awkward anymore. I find myself grasping at the details so they never leave my head even if you or I remove someone's heart to poke until it bursts. you can rip this red blob out but you can never take my memories of how I loved you and still do

Eat your breakfast and let the air out
If it gets too hard to swallow and you can't handle density
Digest nonetheless and force yourself to breathe