The Devil Is an Ass Act 2 Scene 7

Fitz-dottrel, Wittipol, Pug.

Her Husband appears at her Back.

IS she so, Sir? and I will keep her so,
If I know how, or can: that wit of Man
Will do't, I'll go no farther. At this Windo'
She shall no more be buz'd at. Take your leave on't.
If you be sweet Meats, Wedlock, or sweet Flesh,
All's one: I do not love this hum about you.
A Fly-blown Wife is not so proper, in:
For you, Sir, look to hear from me.

[He speaks out of his Wives Window.

Wit.
So, I do, Sir.

Fit.
No, but in other terms. There's no Man offers
This to my Wife, but pays for't.

Wit.
That have I, Sir.

Fit.
Nay, then, I tell you, you are.

Wit.
What am I, Sir?

Fit.
Why, that I'll think on, when I ha' cut your
Throat.

Wit.
Go, you are an Ass.

Fit.
I am resolv'd on't, Sir.

Wit.
I think you are.

Fit.
To call you to a reckoning.

Wit.
Away you Brokers Block, you Property.

Fit.
'Slight, if you strike me, I'll strike your Mistris,

[He strikes his Wife.

Wit.
O! I could shoot mine Eyes at him, for that, now;
Or leave my Teeth in him, were they Cuckolds bane
Enough to kill him. What prodigious,
Blind, and most wicked change of Fortune's this?
I ha' no Air of Patience: all my Veins
Swell, and my Sinews start at iniquity of it.
I shall break, break.

[The Devil speaks below.

Pug.
This for the Malice of it,
And my Revenge may pass! But, now, my Conscience
Tells me, I have profited the Cause of Hell
But little, in the breaking off their Loves.
Which, if some other act of mine repair not,
I shall hear ill of in my account.

[Fitz-dottrel enters with his Wife
as come down.

Fit.
O, Bird!
Could you do this? 'gainst me? and at this time, now?
VVhen I was so imploy'd, wholly for you,
Drown'd i' my care (more than the Land, I swear,
I 'have hope to win) to make you peer-less? studying,
For Footmen for you, fine pac'd Huishers, Pages,
To serve you o' the Knee; with what Knights Wife,
To bear your Train, and sit with your four Women
In Council, and receive Intelligences,
From Foreign parts, to dress you at all Pieces!
Y' have (a'most) turn'd my good Affection to you;
Sowr'd my sweet Thoughts; all my pure Purposes:
I could now find (i' my very Heart) to make
Another Lady Dutchess, and depose you.
VVell, go your ways in. Devil, you have redeem'd all.
I do forgive you. And I'll do you good.