The Devil Is an Ass Act 1 Scene 2

Fitz-Dottrel.

I, they do now, name IBretnor, as before,
They talk'd of Gresham, and of Doctor Fore-man,
Franklin, and Fiske, and Savory (he was in too);
But there's not one of these that ever could
Yet shew a man the Devil in true sort.
They have their Chrystals, I do know, and Rings,
And Virgin-Parchment, and their dead mens Sculls,
Their Ravens VVings, their Lights, and Pentacles,
VVith Characters; I ha' seen all these. But ——
VVould I might see the Devil. I would give
A hundred o' these Pictures to see him
Once out of Picture. May I prove a Cuckold,
(And that's the one main mortal thing I fear)
If I begin not now to think, the Painters
Have only made him. 'Slight, he would be seen,
One time or other else. He would not let
An ancient Gentleman, of a good House
As most are now in England, the Fetz dottrel's,
Run wild, and call upon him thus in vain,
As I ha' done this twelve month. If he be not
At all, why are there Conjurers? If they be not,
VVhy are there Laws against 'em? The best Artists
Of Cambridge, Oxford, Middlesex and London,
Essex and Kent, I have had in pay to raise him,
These fifty weeks, and yet h' appears not. 'Sdeath,
I shall suspect they can make Circles only
Shortly, and know but his hard names. They do say,
H' will meet a man (of himself) that has a mind to him:
If he would so, I have a mind and a half for him:
He should not be long absent. Pray thee come,
I long for thee. An' I were with Child by him,
And my wife too; I could not more. Come yet,

[He expresseth a longing to see the Devil.

Good Beelzebub. VVere he a kind Devil,
And had humanity in him, he would come, but
To save ones longing. I should use him well,
I swear, and with respect (would he would try me)
Not as the Conjurers do, when they ha' rais'd him,
Get him in Bonds, and send him Post on Errands
A thousand Miles: it is preposterous, that:
And I believe, is the true Cause he comes not.
And he has reason. VVho would be engag'd,
That might live freely, as he may do? I swear,
They are wrong all. The burnt Child dreads the fire.
They do not know to entertain the Devil.
I would so welcome him, observe his Diet,
Get him his Chamber hung with Arras, two of 'em,
I' my own house; lend him my VVives wrought Pil-
lows:
And as I am an honest Man, I think,
If he had a mind to her too; I should grant him,
To make our Friendship perfect. So I would not
To every man. If he but hear me now?
And should come to me in a brave young shape,
And take me at my word? ha! VVho is this?