Pizza with Ulysses S. Grant On It

Shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh
Start over!

(Hey!)

Quiet! Quiet, you muffs!

Last night, I ordered a pizza with pepperoni and extra cheese

(Urrrrrggggghhhhhhaaaaarrrrrggggghhhhhrrrgggghhhh!!!)

When I opened the box, I right away detected the boozy breath of our 18th president

(Urrrrrggggghhhhhhaaaaarrrrrggggghhhhhrrrgggghhhh!!!)

He stood up out of the box and asked me what kind of cervix I had

(Urrrrrggggghhhhhhaaaaarrrrrggggghhhhhrrrgggghhhh!!!)

I told him I had an Evinrude cervix, but he reminded me that they only make boat motors

(Urrrrrggggghhhhhhaaaaarrrrrggggghhhhhrrrgggghhhh!!!)

Last night I ate a pizza with Ulysses S. Grant on it

(Urrrrrggggghhhhhhaaaaarrrrrggggghhhhhrrrgggghhhh!!!)

It tasted like Spree, light and lively candy

(Urrrrrggggghhhhhhaaaaarrrrrggggghhhhhrrrgggghhhh!!!)

Dogs started attacking my saline implants

(Urrrrrggggghhhhhhaaaaarrrrrggggghhhhhrrrgggghhhh!!!)

And then the other half of Tom Dempsey's foot came out of my pee hole

(Urrrrrggggghhhhhhaaaaarrrrrggggghhhhhrrrgggghhhh!!!)

Last night I had a pizza with Ulysses S. Grant on it

(Urrrrrggggghhhhhhaaaaarrrrrggggghhhhhrrrgggghhhh!!!)