Oo-La-La: Cookin’ French Like the French Cook French

[French Chef]
(highly, almost manically energetic)
Bonjour, mes amis! Here is the French cook, and I'm ready to cook French!

Today, we discuss a miracle of nature; a marvel of perfection; the masterpiece of our friend, the chicken - the egg? Yes, the egg! I hold in my hand so carefully an egg - well, in fact, we say an "oeuf"! Oh, it's a wonderful thing, huh? An "oeuf"! Oh, la!

I can make the beautiful omelette, the fluffy soufflé, a fancy crêpes Suzette!

(laughs)

I must confess I am famous for my fabulous crêpes Suzette! Well, many, many people say that I am a real crêpes artist! You know, just a little milk - well, in French, it's "le lait" - a little flour - a la petite fleur - some sugar - sucre! - and, of course, an egg - an oeuf! Well, it's so [unknown], so French - and very economical, for you know you can always use just one egg! Why? Because, you remember - one egg is an oeuf! ONE EGG IS AN OEUF! AN OEUF! That makes me to laugh!!

(Pans fall off the counter)

[Chef]
(calming down)
Down, down to business. Well, we really must bring the shy mademoiselle egg out of her shell. Let us use the method of one head cracking: grasp the egg firmly, and tap it against the edge of the bowl like this-

(the egg breaks open clumsily, makes a mess)

-well, let's try another oeuf, huh?

(second egg breaks open clumsily)

Ooh, that's a mess...

-well, well, this - no, this happens all the time! It is actually very simple to get the big pieces of shell out, you just... go in there and fish them out!

Er... I can't get this little, teeny slimy one...

(starts stirring mixture)

...well, no, listen, it's fine, you can leave those small pieces in there! The French love those scrunchy little pieces!

There is even a song about an egg and a telephone: "Mi Shell, Ma Belle"!

Well, now we are out of time! So, mes amis, here is the French cook saying goodbye for today!

And remember: If it's French... eat it!