NBN Rollout

[Verse 1]
Take a fibre-optic cable, and run it to the node
The node is on the road, your house is over there
So run a copper wire from the node on the road to a box on the side of your house

[Chorus]
Do the NBN Rollout with me
Do the NBN Rollout

[Spoken]
Come on everyone, let's all be copper wires together
All tangled and frayed
If this technology was good enough for Edmund Barton, it’s good enough for us!
Now what next do we need to do?
I know! We get to choose a service provider! Let's give it a go

[Verse 2]
Take the speed that they say you can get by day
Then divide it by the number of the houses on the street
Who have also got the wire from the node on the road
That's why Netflix is slow

[Chorus]
Do the NBN Rollout with me
Do the NBN rollout

[Spoken]
You’re doing great!
Now there's just one more thing we get to do now
Do you know what it is?
You're right, we get to make a formal complaint to the ombudsman!
Come on, join in!

[Verse 3]
Take the time that you spent with no internet
As you waited for the guy in the van to arrive
But it took six months and several calls
And you're paying more than you did before
And you want to grab an axe and go
To the node on the side of the road
(heavy breathing)

[Chorus]
Do the NBN Rollout with me
Do the NBN Rollout

Do the NBN Rollout
Do the NBN Rollout

[Spoken]
Now, I'm so conscious, my friends, because we are recording the symphony and that someone may indeed listen to it in future, I don't want the references to be too dated, but I do like to think there are some things that will remain constant for decades, if not centuries. Namely that the Prime Minister of the time will still be a bit of a tool, that democracy as we know it will be under siege, and that Australians will continue their fine tradition of drawing genitals on their ballot papers

So to join me in celebrating this uniquely patriotic act, please welcome to the stage, the wonderful Jude Perl!