Back When I Was Your Age

[Verse 1]
Little darling, you're the world to me and soon you’ll see the world is full of wonder and it's waiting just for you
But as you turn eighteen, it's my job to intervene, and offer you some guidance, things I wish that I once knew
’Cause I remember how it feels at this precious age, a childhood behind you and your future now an empty page
I speak not as a father, let me talk now as a friend, as I reveal what I was like back then

[Chorus 1]
Back when I was your age, (ooh, ooh)
Your age (ooh, ooh, ooh)
So long ago
Back when I was your age (ooh, ooh)
Your age (ooh, ooh)
There are things I think you need to know

[Verse 2]
I was basically a massive deal, on and off the sporting field
My nickname was "Legend", it's embarrassing but true
And by the age of twenty-three, I'd started my own charity, performing keyhole surgery on kids in Kathmandu
And I once saved a group of puppies from a burning orphanage, then I went back inside and saved the orphans too
So having explained what I was like when I was younger, I expect the same behaviour now from you

[Chorus 2]
'Cause back when I was your age, (ooh, ooh)
Your age (ooh ooh ooh)
I can't deny
That back when I was your age (ooh ooh)
Your age (ooh ooh)
I was pretty much a perfect guy

[Verse 3]
But the funny thing is, there's no documentary evidence, confirming that my conduct was as pure as described
But trust me, it's the truth, I wouldn't fabricate my youth. And rumours that discredit me are just malicious lies
’Cause, you might fear that I was lazy and my morals fairly hazy, possessing several attitudes that put me now to shame
That I was racked with insecurity, and lacking in maturity, and prone to public nudity on buses, trams, and trains
And if you hear that I once drank too much and threw up in a rubbish bin on Swanston Street in 2003
Whilst only wearing underpants, ’cause that's just how I rolled
I promise you that person wasn’t me

[Bridge]
'Cause back when I was your age, (ooh, ooh)
Your age (ooh, ooh, ooh)
I was okay
I might have been a little, how to put it, slightly odd, like not a total psychopath but still a work-in-progress
And I know that people grow and you are just beginning so go and make mistakes, just maybe less than I did

And I'm not saying not to have a little fun just
Stop and think "Is the thing I'm doing dumb?"
And if it is then, good news kid!
You don’t have to do it 'cause your Dad already did when he was

[Chorus 3]
Your age, (ooh, ooh)
Your age (ooh, ooh, ooh)
Now you can take the noble path
'Cause every little stupid, selfish, risky thing
I did it all on your behalf

Back when I was your age, (ooh, ooh)
Your age (ooh, ooh, ooh)
But I can tell
Soon you will be my age (ooh, ooh)
My age (ooh, ooh, ooh)
And you'll be lying to your kids as well

[Outro]
Okay you got me, I confess, at your age I was a mess, and if I'm honest, I've still got a lot to learn
So if you stumble in, and you vomit in the bin
I won't ask questions, if you ask none in return

[Spoken]

Thank you very much. I don't just write songs for my own children, I'm a pretty generous guy. And I will never forget when Prince William got in touch with me and asked me if I'd write a song for George back when he was born. Some of you don't know this but I'm actually good mates with Prince Willy. He visited Melbourne back in 2003, I remember, we had a great night out on Swanston Street and we've stayed pretty tight, so of course I was happy and honoured to write a song, a lullaby if you will, for the little royal baby, and I thought I'd write this one, not just from me, but from all of Australia