Medical Love Song

(-The doctors are here, Senior Beresby
-Ah. Terrific.)

Inflammation of the foreskin
Reminds me of your smile
I've had ballanital chancroids
For quite a little while
I gave my heart to NSU
That lovely night in June
I ache for you, my darling
And I hope you get well soon

My penile warts, your herpes
My syphilitic sores
Your moenelial infection
How I miss you more and more
Your dobie's itch, my scrumpox
Our lovely gonnorrhea
At least we both were lying
When we said that we were clear

My clapped out genitalia
Is not so bad for me
As the complete and utter failure
Every time I try to pee
I'm dying from your love, my love
I'm your spirochaetal clown
I've left my body to science
But I'm afraid they've turned it down

Gonoccocal urethritis
Streptococcal ballinitis
Meningomyelitis
Diplococcal cephalitis
Epididymitis
Interstitial keratitis
Syphilitic choroiditis
And antertior u-ve-i-tis