Isobel

Nobody else is loved so well by Isobel, by Isobel
Oh, nobody else is loved so well by Isobel but me
She's my rose, my asphodel, my demoiselle, my Jezebel
But nobody else is loved so well by Isobel but me

I admire those men who know about mathematics
Who calculate and cipher and compute
I used to think that logarithms were things that scuttled about in attics
And surds were little flowers with square roots
What boots it

Nobody else is loved so well by Isobel, by Isobel
Oh, nobody else is loved so well by Isobel but me
At geometry I don't excel, my triangles go parallel
But nobody else is loved so well by Isobel but me

I marvel at musicians, maestros, virtuosos
They're sensitive and deft beyond belief
The only tune that I know well is Ring-a-Rosoes
And I can only whistle it through me teeth
But good grief

Nobody else is loved so well by Isobel, by Isobel
Oh, nobody else is loved so well by Isobel but me
I couldn't produce a tuneful decibel, not even if I strained like hell
But nobody else is loved so well by Isobel but me

Some can swim for miles and dive from dizzy heights
From deep and stormy seas they never shrink
I am not amphibious or watertight
My function in the water is to sink
But just think

Nobody else is loved so well by Isobel, by Isobel
Oh, nobody else is loved so well by Isobel but me
Upon the sea the slightest swell makes me expel one hell of a yell
But nobody else is loved so well by Isobel but me

Some men are sophisticated, gay and hearty
Polite and poised and witty, they're such fun
I am never welcome to a cocktail party
I drink too much or leave my flies undone
But thumbs up

Nobody else is loved so well by Isobel, by Isobel
Oh, nobody else is loved so well by Isobel but me
I can't hold my whisky well, and I've not got many jokes to tell
But nobody else is loved so well by ever-loving Isobel
My one and only Isobel, my little Iso-Isobel
All other women I repel
'Cause I can't spell and I smell as well
But nobody else is loved so well by Isobel but me