Haywire

[Part I]

[Verse 1]
This shit's been, advantageous for way too long
Turn pages, but the book, it’s just too long
Think I hate the way I look, but I don't know
Think I'm staring at a mirror and turning to stone
Think I’ve always known the truth, but I'm scared to act
Got a pair of eyes trained on me that never relax
Get anxiety in waves lately, and it's really fuckin' weird
It's kinda like it was a couple years ago
Fuck this
I don't wanna function anymore
Been sitting at the junction, but you're waiting at my door
I don't wait for interruptions anymore
I just take shit when I want it
So can anyone explain why her words got me pausing every sentence?
This shit’s relentless
I end up getting fucked up
Every second that I feel calm
Found my way to napalm
And I’m transfixed
I wanna feel alive
Wonder why it is I can't live

[Chorus]
I got my head on right
But I don’t see what's wrong
If we really fell in love
I wouldn't make this song
It wouldn't take so long
The words would find me on their own
I wouldn’t drive myself to madness
I wouldn't have to be alone

[Verse 2]
Sit down
Please
I'll calm down
Just don't leave yet
I need a chance to prove to myself
That this is something unique
So can we sit for an hour and speak?
I know that I come on really strong
Make a lot of bad decisions and a few of them are wrong
On a moral level
But morale is dropping from my thoughts
So let me just tell you what I saw when you met my eyes
On the Fourth of July last year
Yeah, the sky was ablaze
But I just stared at your face
And you just stared at mine
Felt like something happened that day
Cause you didn't say a word to me for three weeks after
All the laughter that we've shared about it since feels off
Our friendships wrong now
And I can't calm down
I might just walk out
I'm sorry that I asked you to stay
If only you'd come over yesterday

[Chorus]
I got my head on right
But I don't see what's wrong
If we really fell in love
I wouldn't make this song
It wouldn't take so long
The words would find me on their own
I wouldn't drive myself to madness
I wouldn't have to be alone

[Part II]

[Verse 3]
I been worried 'bout the wrong shit
Always tryna dodge it
I've been thinking I got power over something fully out of reach
When you've got a hold on me
The sky opens and I see new colors
But I'll see you different when I leave you like the others
Got it color coded
Feeling omnipotent
Now I fully get myself
You better get the fuck right out of my way
'Cause there ain't no way that I can dwell
On what can't be
Planning futures I'll never get to see
The scenes set
And now I'm breathing steady
Out of steam

I got some time to kill
But I won't sit for shit
Yeah, the machinery I got inside is trying to quit
I'll take a nap in the dirt
And let my mind drift
Timeless truths always find me when I'm lying on the Sideroof
This the song I wanna die to
Something only the people closest to me will ever hear
A resigned mindset is replacing the fear
I take an hour to wonder if I can make it a year
I'll never lie to you that much I can promise
I'm so sporadic that you're always on your toes
I'm always trying to improve
That's what everybody knows
But what no one understands is that none of that works
I'll never make you a promise
I know I'll break it
I never leave you astonished I'm so predictable
I'll never gain any knowledge cause I'm too confident that struggling works
Don't give a shit if anybody gets hurt, yo

[Chorus]
I got my head on right
But I don't see what's wrong
If we really fell in love
I wouldn't make this song
It wouldn't take so long
The words would find me on their own
I wouldn't drive myself to madness
I wouldn't have to be alone