Happy Birthday Ralph

[Spoken]
All right, Ralph. Happy birthday, you freak

You're breaking hearts and you're breaking guitars
Today's your birthday, and you don't even know how old you are
You're in love with every woman from Tyler
You went swimming in the ocean with my goddamn dialer
You used to be fat, I think then I liked you best
'Cause now you're skinny, I'm chubby, and you make fun of my breasts
And I'm sorry, but this may sound weird
But you gotta do something 'bout the food in your beard

Happy birthday, Ralph
I love you
Even though you are fucking disgusting
Happy birthday, Ralph
I love you
Even though you are fucking disgusting

You can't wear your bike hat because of your hair
Wherever you go, you break everything everywhere
This year, fix gear, now get on your way
And shut off the stereo chorus and the digital delay

Some people, they think, they think you're Rastafarian
And they ask you for pot
I think I like it, I know I like it
I like it a lot because, because it pisses you off
So for your birthday
I got you some Hawaiian punch on tap, H-P-O-T
So now you can stop borrowing my stuff
And trying your new kung fu moves out on me

Happy birthday, Ralph
I love you
Even though you are fucking disgusting
Happy birthday, Ralph
I love you
Even though you are fucking disgusting

You can't wear your bike hat because of your hair
Wherever you go, you break everything everywhere
This year, fix gear, now get on your way
Shut off the stereo chorus and the digital delay

Happy birthday, Ralph
I love you
Even though you have a beard
(Even though you are fucking dis-... whoa)
Happy birthday, Ralph
I love you
Even though you are perverted and weird

Happy birthday, Ralph
I love you
Even though you are fucking disgusting
Happy birthday, Ralph
I love you
Even though you are fucking disgusting

Happy birthday, Ralph
I love you