Goalie

[Spoken]
Okay, here's what we're doing here, um... We're going to integrate two very important things, um, and those are intelligence... and sports!

In hockey you must score a goal
Which one cannot do if between me and the net there's no hole
Most goalies are quick, react the drop of a hat
But I don't need to be quick when I got so much fat

What do you do with your fifteen hundred pounds?
You play goalie
What do you do with your fifteen hundred pounds?
You play goalie

You can try the wrist shot, slapshot, there's no getting through
I told you ten times, you cannot fake out blubber dude
I won't get tired, 'cause I'll just lie on my side
So the other teams won't copy, I'll be signed at the deadline
Turn on channel 29 on the telly
I've eliminated the kick save and only block with my belly
Me and Georges Vézina, I'll be a new sensation
The NHL can't not let me play 'cause that's discrimination

What do you do with your fifteen hundred pounds?
You play goalie
What do you do with your fifteen hundred pounds?
You play goalie
(You can't spend it in England)

Hey man, do you know what's up?
The Flyers could've used me in the Stanley Cup
And I don't care if it ruins the sport of the game
'Cause we're winning
Yeah, we're winning

What do you do with your fifteen hundred pounds?
You play goalie
What do you do with your fifteen hundred pounds?
You play goalie
And we danced like a wave on the ocean, romanced
(What do you do with your fifteen hundred pounds?)
We were liars in love
(You play goalie)
And we danced like a wave of the ocean, romanced
(What do you do with your fifteen hundred pounds?)
And we danced, and we danced, and we danced
(You play goalie)

You play goalie
You play goalie
You play goalie
You!
(You play goalie, you play goalie)