Frybo

[Open Int. Steven's Room]

Steven: (peering through laundry) Where are you? Tsk tsk tsk. You’re a mess, Steven.

Pearl: (to herself, holding seven Gem Shards in a bubble) I know I had eight... (to Steven) Hey, Steven, have you seen a Gem Shard anywhere? It’s very important.

Steven: No, have you seen my pants? They’re also very important.

Pearl: I’m serious, Steven. (starts explaining) These Shards have a powerful partial consciousness that has been harnessed by Gems throughout history in order to create semi-sentient drone soldiers with the capacity to follow basic orders. Gems once created an army of these drones, but found their obedience waned as the shards overdeveloped inside their uniforms and turned on their commanders. You see, any shard imprinted by any sort of container could become a monster. That’s why it’s very, very important it’s kept away from any kind of garment...

Steven: (thinking at the exact same time, blocking out most of what Pearl has said after “in order”) They weren’t in the kitchen either... under the bed! No wait, I looked there too. And then Pearl walked in... (mind gasp) Pearl! Oh jeez, she’s really explaining something... I can’t just start listening now, I’d be lost! ... Just like my pants... (starts to listen at “could become a monster”)

Pearl: If you see it, bring it to me, right away. I’m going to check in town. (leaves)

Steven: For my pants? (to self) I guess I’ll keep looking here. (notices pants walking by themselves) That’s unusual! (chases after them) Come on, we used to be friends! We used to go everywhere together! (jumps on them) Gotcha now, pants! (puts them on) I wear the pants in this relationship! (pants wriggling) What’s gotten into you? Hmm? (takes out Gem shard from his pocket, pants cease) It’s a... thingy? Is this Pearl’s shard thingy? (puts shard in sock) Ha, now who’s smart? (The sock repeatedly smacks him in the face) Ow, ow, stop! (The sock stops) Oh... thanks! I gotta get you to Pearl. (places sock in backpack)

[Trans. Ext. Beach Citywalk Fries]

Steven: (yelling near the boardwalk) Hey, Pearl! Pearl! She must still be looking for my pants...

(Peedee in the Frybo costume rushes in and bumps Steven to the ground, whilst being attacked by a flock of seagulls. Steven, terrified, cowers on the ground)

Peedee: (panicking) Aah, please help me! Aah, No, get them away! Please! Aah! (takes off head of costume and swings it at the flock) I’m not fries!

(Steven sighs deeply once the conflict is over, and Fryman opens a side door to see what’s going on)

Fryman: Gah, where’s your face Frybo? Being part of the Fryman family means you gotta sell fries... and be my son, which you are. So, you’re already halfway there. Keep at it, Frybo! (begins to close door)

Peedee: (clenches fist) I’m Pee... (Fryman closes door) ... dee.

Steven: (picks ear and then waves) Hi, Peedee!

Peedee: When I told my dad I wanted to be part of the Fryman family business, I didn’t think it meant being stuck in a sweaty old costume. Things used to be different, Steven, nothing to worry about back then except making myself dizzy on the old seahorse ride at Funland.

Steven: (thinking that he was joking) Oh, Frybo, you’re hilarious.

Peedee: sighs I wish there was a way for this costume to do its job without me in it.

Steven: Maybe it can, Peedee... Maybe it can...

[Time Skip — Steven dons Frybo suit]

Steven: (in Frybo suit) Oooooh! (suddenly attacked by seagull) Aah! (runs around frantically)

[Time Skip— Frybo suit, empty, is in decrepit state, seagull pecks at it on the ground]

Steven: (looking at suit) Wait! I have another idea.

(Steven takes out the shard, shoos the birds away and drops the shard in the costume which then automatically repairs itself and rolls around aimlessly)

Peedee: Woah... (Frybo begins to roll off)

Steven: Stop! (Frybo stops)

Peedee: Unbelievable! Get up! (Frybo positions itself upright)

Steven: Do a little dance!

(Frybo creates legs out of fries and dances. Steven and Peedee appear disgusted, while Fryman opens door again to witness the scene, not knowing Peedee is not in the costume. Peedee quickly hides behind Steven)

Fryman: (opens door) Woah-ho, all right! It’s about ti— I mean, good job, buddy! That’s what I’m talking about, Frybo, ha ha. Keep it up! (closes door, Frybo stops)

Peedee: Free, I’m free! (to Frybo) You’ve got the job, Frybo, let’s shake on it! (extends hand, Frybo picks him up and literally shakes him)

Steven: (laughing) He’s got jokes!

Peedee: (nauseated) Ok, no more shaking. Put me down. Just, go make people eat fries. (Frybo runs off, Peedee rejoices) Let’s go be kids! (takes Steven by the arm and runs off)

[Trans. Funland Arcade]

(Peedee and Steven ride on the Seahorse and Jellyfish rides respectively, to which Peedee quickly becomes disappointed in)

Peedee: This seahorse used to make me so happy. Now it’s just giving me whiplash. (ride stops) I feel like there’s just no point to it, you know what I mean?

Steven: (shaking from ride) I just feel tingly!

Peedee: (sighs) You’ll understand when you have a job.

Steven: (ride ends) I do have a job, I protect humanity from magic and monsters and stuff!

Peedee: I mean a real job, that you get paid for.

Steven: I'm paid in the smiles across the town’s faces.

Peedee: I don’t see anyone smiling. You pick up a job to buy a house, or raise kids, or to... impress your dad. You work away your life, and what does it get you?

Steven: Smiles on faces?

Peedee: No! You get cash. Cash that can’t buy back what the job takes... not if you rode every seahorse in the world. (sighs)

Steven: Woah... wanna ride the jellyfish?

(Distant scream is heard)

Peedee: That came from the fry shop! (They both get off the rides and run towards the disturbance)

[Trans. Ext. Beach Citywalk Fries]

(Frybo attacking innocent residents, people running away in terror who Frybo then drags back with fry tendrils)

Peedee: (panicking/ We didn’t tell him to do that, did we tell him to do that?! (A table smashes through window, both duck)

[Ext. & Int. BC Fries]

(Frybo stands with several captured people and veins protruding all over his face)

Mr. Smiley: Please, no more fries! (Frybo shoves his mouth full of fries)

Steven: Frybo, stop!

(Frybo turns and the boys flinch. Lars is thrown at them and they duck)

Lars: (spits out fries) I don’t even like fries! (runs off)

Peedee: Why isn’t he listening?!

Steven: I don’t know!

(Fryman emerges from the back of the shop)

Fryman: Peedee, where’s all this coming from?! (Frybo ensnares him) Ah, I get it, I pushed you too hard. I thought you wanted to be as good a Fryman as you could be, you’re a tough kid for putting up with it as long as you did! The truth is: You’re a valued member of Fryman Brothers Incorporated and all its affiliates! (Frybo picks him up and shoves fries in his mouth.)

[Ext. BC Fries]

Peedee: Dad! (lunges towards window) (breaks into tears)

Steven: No! (tackles him) He’ll mash your potatoes!

Peedee: What are you going to do?

Steven: (proudly) My job!

(Frybo chucks Fryman who promptly lands onto the boys, immobilizing them and knocking Fryman unconscious. Pearl enters with other shards as Frybo leaves the shop)

Pearl: Steven! Did you put my missing shard in that fry costume?

Steven: Yes!

Pearl: Didn’t you hear what I said about the living armor and infantries and many, many deaths?!

Steven: No!

Pearl: Oh Steven. (summons weapon)

(Pearl spears Frybo in the head, whose eye then bursts with ketchup and mustard, blinding Pearl who drops the other shards. Peedee rolls Fryman off of them)

Steven: Pearl! (rushes towards her)

Pearl: Ugh, the ketchup! It’s everywhere, I can’t see!

Steven: (noticing dropped shards) Shards... Need! (runs off)

Pearl: (blind) Wah? Steven?

Peedee: *tearing up* Dad!

(Frybo emerges, spear in eye, and approaches the Frymans. Peedee grabs a broken plank and confronts it as Fryman regains consciousness)

Peedee: (swinging at Frybo) Go away!

Fryman: (getting up) Peedee?

Peedee: You are awful! I hate you, I’ve always hated you!

Fryman: Wait, you’ve always hated Frybo?

(Frybo disarms Peedee, he falls back, and Fryman holds him. As Frybo approaches, Peedee turns around into Fryman's arms and cowers in fear. Steven’s pants then enter with a shard in its pocket and kicks Frybo)

Frymans: Steven!

Pearl: Where?!

(Steven appears in just his underwear after placing a shard in each of his garments. His socks, shirt, pants, shoes, and jacket stand beside him)

Steven: (fry in mouth) Your move, Frybo. (eats a fry, Frybo charges forward) Attack!

(Steven’s garments each attack Frybo, besting it, but unable to overcome it. Steven is then smacked to the ground)

Steven: I didn’t want to do this, but you leave me no choice. Underwear, go!

(The underwear fly off and knock down Frybo. A naked Steven then runs up and rips the shard out of Frybo's cheese filled mouth)

Pearl: (blind) Steven, are you alright? (touching Fryman’s face)

Fryman: Fine.

Steven: I’m okay. As soon as I bared my butt, I knew he’d crack.

[Trans. Beach]

(Steven’s garments prepare to send the Frybo suit out to sea on a makeshift raft while a naked Steven and others look on.)

Fryman: You were great, Frybo. The kids today just didn’t understand. Now, they never will.

Pearl: Weren’t people scared of it before he attacked them?
(Steven shushes her)

Fryman: It’s time to send him off. (He takes out a lighter and lights Frybo on fire, as Pearl, using the end of her spear, along with Steven's clothing, pushes it out to sea.) *sighs* As greasy in death as he was in life.

Peedee: Dad? Uhm... I'll, are you going to get another costume?

Fryman: I don’t need another Frybo, I got *puts arm around Peedee* the fry man.

Steven: (posing heroically while standing naked) Pearl, I think our work here is done.

Pearl: (frowning) Put your clothes on, Steven.

[END]