Cat Fingers

[Open Ext. It's a Wash]

(Greg is washing Mayor Dewey's Van with Steven)

Greg: Almost done! (sprays van with hose) Steven, get the hubcaps!

Steven: Hubbing it up! (rubs hubcaps faster)

Greg: Hub it good! This is a high-profile job.

Steven: You mean cause it's the mayor's election-mobile?

Greg: If we do this right, we might get political favors!

Steven: I'm not sure what that is, but I like it! (grabs hose)

(Steven sprays the van with the hose and hits Greg by mistake. Greg hits him back, and they start to have a hose fight. They both start laughing, and the mayor walks towards them)

Mayor Dewey: Hey, hey, hey! I'm not paying for father-son bonding here! (Steven sprays him with the hose) Universe! (wipes water off self) Control that kid. (points to Steven)

Greg: (stands beside Steven) Steven! Hehe, I'm sorry, Mayor Dewey. Hehe, this one's on the house.

Mayor Dewey: On the house, eh. (stares at the van and then points to Greg) I like the way you do business, Universe. (climbs into car and drives away)

Car siren: Mayor Dewey! Mayor Dewey! Mayor Dewey! (Greg sighs)

Steven: (emerges) Political favors! (Greg notices Steven)

Greg: (picks him up and noogies him) Ahh, you rascal! Enough with the hose fights!

Steven: (laughs) Aw, okay. (Steven and Greg get splashed by some water, and look down to see a purple cat holding a hose)

Greg: What the?

Steven and Greg: Whoa!

(The cat chases them around, continuously spraying them with hose water)

Greg: What is with this cat? (The cat then turns into Amethyst)

Amethyst: Haha! Got you guys!

Steven: Amethyst!

Greg: Uh, pretty cool, Amethyst.

Steven: Really cool! I wish I could shapeshift like you!

Amethyst: (ties hose into a knot) You could probably learn.

Steven: Really?

Amethyst: Sure. (pulls up Steven's shirt) You've got a gem.

Greg: Whup! Magic stuff. Should I get out of here? Is there going to be an explosion?

Steven: Oh, it's no big deal dad. (pulls shirt down)

Amethyst: (shape-shifts into Steven) Yeah, it's fine.

Greg: Aah!

[Trans. Int. Beach House]

Amethyst: Hey Pearl. (shape-shifts into seal) Arp, arp!

(Steven laughs)

Steven: Do more!

Amethyst: Check it out. (Amethyst shapeshifts into a wolf and Pearl stares blankly) Aawwooo! (shapeshifts into Purple Puma) Raaa! (shapeshifts into a jay and perches on Steven's head)

Steven: Whoa!

Pearl: (walks over) Amethyst, you're overdoing it.

Amethyst: Uh, chill it dude.

Pearl: Just because you can shapeshift, doesn't mean you should.

Steven: Can you shapeshift?

Pearl: Well of course...

(Amethyst butts in and shapeshifts into Pearl)

Amethyst: Well of course I can, I'm perfect! (hits her butt) WOMP! WOMP!

(Pearl pushes Amethyst to the side and Amethyst tumbles away laughing)

Pearl: All Gems have shapeshifting powers, Steven. (projects hologram) We can turn into objects, we can change parts of our bodies or... we could do that. (looks at Amethyst who is still smacking her butt)

Amethyst: WOMP! WOMP!

Steven: I want to try it all!

Pearl: Don't bite off more than you can chew, Steven.

Amethyst: WOMP, WOMP!

Pearl: Ugh! (goes outside and Amethyst turns back into herself)

Steven: Alright! Show me how to change into a, uh, huge lion!

Amethyst: Actually, for once Pearl is right. If you're gonna do this, you've gotta start with something easy.

Steven: Like that cat you turned into?

Amethyst: That sounds good. Now follow my lead. First, think of what you wanna be, and then, just shake it out. (Amethyst demonstrates for Steven) See? Haha! Now your turn.

Steven: Okay. (breathes in and tries) Caaatttt!

Amethyst: Nah, you're too tense. Just relax and feel it. (eats potato chip) Bio-rhythms, yo.

Steven: (presses fingertips against his temples) Feeeelll iittt.

Amethyst: Ehh, if you're not ready, we can try later.

Steven: No, wait! I can do it. (Amethyst shapeshifts back into herself and Steven starts "feeling it") Yeah, yeah. HUH!

Amethyst: Well, it was a good try. (A meowing noise comes out of nowhere and Steven opens his palm to see a cat finger)

Cat Finger: Rraow, rraow!

(Amethyst laughing)

Steven: This is so cool!

Amethyst: You should go show your dad. He's gonna freak out!

Cat Finger: Rreow!

[Trans. Int. It's a Wash]

Steven: Dad, I'm back!

Greg: Hey, stu-ball.

Steven: Check it out! (shows cat finger to his dad, and Greg drops his water bottle on Steven) I shapeshifted my finger into a cat!

Greg: Whoa! Is, is that a thing you can do now? That's pretty... cool.

Steven: I know, right! I'm gonna take this show on the road! (starts laughing)

Cat Finger: Meow! Row! Reaw!

[Trans. Int. Big Donut]

Sadie: That'll be a dollar 'o five Steven.

Steven: Mm, okay. Here's a nickel. And a buck! *hold up cat finger* (Cat finger meows)

Sadie and Lars: Whaaat!?!

Sadie: Oh Steven, that's adorable! (Sadie pets the cat with her finger, which starts to purr) Are... you making it purr?

Steven: It kinda does what it wants.

Lars: Really? (He roughly pokes the cat and it bites him) Yow!

Steven: See what I mean? Bad cat finger!

Sadie: Oh, I'm sure it just wants to play.

Steven: (gasps) You're right! And he doesn't have any friends.

Lars: (mockingly) Oh my gosh. It's just like you, Steven.

(Steven breathes in and conjures four more cat fingers, then laughs)

Steven: Huh haa!

[Trans. Ext. Beach Citywalk Fries]

Cat fingers: Rraaooow!

Steven: Hey, Peedee! Whoa, you work the deep-fryer now? (slams fist on the counter) Make me some fry bits!

Peedee: Steven, I take my job seriously, please use the actual menu.

Steven: Give me the bits! (slams fist) The bits!

Fryman: Alright listen, it'll be over sooner if you just give him what he wants. (Peedee sighs)

Steven: Whoa, hey, hey, it's not for me. It's fo' THESE GUYS. (holds up cat fingers)

Fryman: What the?!

Peedee: Uh, here's your... (looks at the cat fingers) ... bits. (The cats start to eat the bits)

Fryman: I can't look away.

Peedee: Steven, that is freakish.

Steven: No it's not. It's natural. (shakes fingers on other hand) Sha-ake... it... out! (The fingers on his other hand turn into cats) See!

Peedee and Fryman: Whoa!

Fryman: You know who would love this? Your older brother. Yo Ronaldo!

Ronaldo: What's up daa... (gasps, drops box, and pushes Peedee to the side) I've gotta take a pic for Keep Beach City Weird! (takes out phone and snaps picture)

Cat Fingers: MEOW!

Steven: What's that?

Ronaldo: It's my blog. Keep! Beach! City! Weird! (does hand actions) (Peedee groans)

Steven: Can I see the picture? v(Steven takes the phone and the cats whine in agony) Yikes! (drops phone) Sorry guys. I guess cat fingers don't function well as... fingers.

[Trans. Int. Steven's House]

Steven: Tsk, I'm just getting a snack! (Cat fingers whine and Steven pulls a sandwich out)

Amethyst: Steven! Need some help?

Steven: Nah, i-it's cool.

Amethyst: Oh gooood! See ya later then.

Steven: Huh?

Amethyst: We're taking the Gem Sloop out to sea to fight a living island.

Steven: What? (drops sandwich) Uh, Amethyst, wait!

[Trans. Ext. Steven's House]

Steven: I wanna go on the Gem Sloop! I wanna see a living island! WAIT! WAIT! (runs down stairs and to the dock) WAIT! (Steven runs into the water to catch up to the Gem Sloop)

Pearl: Steven!

Amethyst: (laughs) C'mon, you can make it! (The cats meow when Steven starts to paddle and the Gems gasp)

Pearl: Steven, what's going on?

Steven: Waah! I-it's nothing! I-i just turned all my fingers into cats!

(Amethyst snorts)

Pearl: We have to stay and help Steven!

Garnet: We can't. This is a tectonic emergency. We'll deal with Steven when we get back.

Pearl: Amethyst, I blame YOU for this.

Amethyst: Eah, that's fair.

Pearl: Grrr! Steven, just try to stay calm!

[Trans. Int. Beach House]

Steven: Enough! No more cat fingers! I want Steven fingers! ... And I don't mean little me heads on fingers, I mean my REGULAR fingers! (Steven breathes in and a spot on his head turns into a cat, then his arm turns into a cat) Wha! Aahhh! Stop! (His foot turns into a cat) Amethyst! (Various parts of his body turn into cats) Pearl! ... Garnet! *gasp* Dad!

[Trans. Ext. It's a Wash]

Greg: (Hoses the ground while singing along to his headphone music and hears a bang) Hello? Who's there? (Cat-covered Steven crawls in) We're closed, come back tomorooaaaah!!! (He sprays Steven with hose, causing the Steven and cats rolling back but the cats keep coming towards Greg)

Steven: (hardly audible) Dad!

Greg: Huh? (Sees Steven's face among the cats and gasps) Steven?

Steven: Dad! (Starts tearing up) Help! (More cats grow) Eeeeer!! The cat fingers are taking over my body! (More cats grow) Eeeeer!!

Greg: Hold on, wha- I'll get you out of there! (A cat bites his arm and throws him to the side)

Steven: No! Bad! Bad cat fingers! (He steps in a puddle and the cats makes him jump to the roof)

Greg: Can't you make them go away?

Steven: I tried, but it made it worse! (More cats grow) Ohh, my life is over! I can't go on magic adventures! I can't even open the fridge! And I'll never get to have another water fight with you, Dad! Because these things hate... water! They hate water! Dad, spray me again! (Greg sprays him and he jumps down. Then the cats run towards Greg)

Greg: Aaahahahaaahhh! (Steven grabs side of the car wash stopping the cats in time)

Steven: It's not enough water! (gasp) Turn on the super-wash!

Greg: No, I won't do it! It's too dangerous!

Steven: You've got to! I'm a monster! I'm an adorable cat monster!

Greg: (Starts tearing up) No you're not! You're my son!

Steven: Dad! Please! Aahhh! (Cats engulf his body)

[Trans. Int. It's a Wash]

(Greg flips three switches and presses a button, enabling the super-wash. Steven then crawls in. The jets spray Steven on all sides. He then goes through two waxers, and another set of jets. Greg rushes to the opening and picks up a hose, ready to attack any remaining cats.)

[Trans. Ext. It's a Wash]

Steven: Dad. (Steven's clothes are all ripped) We did it.

(One of Steven's fingers is still a cat, so Greg hoses it, while they both scream)

[Trans. Ext. Beach House]

(Steven is sitting on the dock, and the Gems arrive.)

Pearl: Steven! (climbs onto dock and holds his hand) Okay, let me see it. W-? Y-you got them to go away?

(Steven smiles)

Pearl: It just goes to show, always listen to me, and never listen to Amethyst.

Amethyst: That's fair.

Garnet: It goes to show, you should have a little more faith in Steven. (Pearl blushes)

Steven: Yeah, that would have been a total CAT-tastrophe!

Amethyst and Pearl: (Sarcastically) Hahahahaha...

Steven: But I'm feeling much better MEOW!

(The Gems moan)

Steven: Ehhh? What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?

Garnet: Okay, that's enough.

(The Gems walk away)

Steven: Wait, I've been coming up with cat jokes all morning. You guys, I'm FELINE fine. Everything's PURRRRFECT! Oh come on! I'm just KITTEN around!

[END]