Coach Steven

[Open Ext. Gem Communication Hub]

(The Crystal Gems arrives by warping to the Warp Pad at the Gem Communication Hub.)

STEVEN: looks up amazed Whoa! What magical place of mysteries is this?

AMETHYST: Well...

PEARL: interrupts Amethyst* Oh, I'm so glad you asked! This was once a communication hub for Gem-kind. *walks over to the pillars of the hub But lately, it's begun transmitting bursts of electromagnetic interference!

STEVEN: Whazzat mean?

GARNET: It's hurting television.

STEVEN: Noooooooo! I'll save you television! HA-YAH! tries to kick and push over a pillar

AMETHYST: lifts Steven up* Sorry, but we need a Steven at least... this strong for this job! *shapeshifts into a stronger-looking Steven with a deeper voice

STEVEN: gasps It's all the me I could be!

(Amethyst puts Steven down, and starts punching at the pillar as the strong Steven. Pearl catches a small piece of the pillar punched off by Amethyst and begins lecturing her.)

PEARL: Amethyst, we could be here all day taking out these pillars individually.

AMETHYST: Ugh, I hate it when you're right. You get this look on your face... looks at Pearl's face Yeah, that's the one.

PEARL: What we need is a well thought out plan.

(Pearl's gem starts to project a hologram, when Garnet interrupts.)

GARNET: No. What we need is Sugilite. Amethyst, fuse with me.

AMETHYST & PEARL: WHAAAT?!

(Amethyst begins to scream in excitement and Pearl looks annoyed.)

AMETHYST: Yeah! Let's mash it up! Bigger, badder, better! Ohohohohoho! twirls around

STEVEN: Hold your horses! Are... you guys going to become a Gem Fusion?!

(Amethyst replies excitedly with a scream. Steven joins in the screaming in excitement too.)

PEARL: WAIT! turns to Garnet Garnet, think about this. You and Amethyst can be a little... hehe... unstable when your personalities combine. We need to be careful! Fuse with me instead.

GARNET: places her hand over Pearl's shoulder We don't need to be careful. We just need to be huge.

AMETHYST: Oh, yeah! Let's wreck this joint!

GARNET: Synchronize.

(Garnet's gemstones begin to glow as she starts to dance.)

STEVEN: eyes gets covered by Pearl* Wha-? Whu-? Pearl, come on! I wanna see! *prys her fingers away

(Garnet and Amethyst continues their fusion dance, fusing together and forming Sugilite.)

SUGILITE: Hahahahaha! laughs and cracks knuckles I forgot how great it feels to be me!

STEVEN: That's Sugilite?

SUGILITE: You got it, baby. Hey, Steven, wanna see something cool?

STEVEN: Yeah!

(Sugilite summons Garnet's gauntlets and Amethyst's whip, and fuses them together to form her flail. Steven gasps loudly in amazement.)

SUGILITE: You like that, little man?

STEVEN: Are you gonna smash stuff with your wrecking-ball-thingy?

SUGILITE: That's the plan! Where should I start?

STEVEN: Do that one! points to a nearby pillar

(Sugilite proceeds to smash some pillars with her flails.)

PEARL: Steven, I think we should go.

STEVEN: No way! This is awesome!

(Sugilite continues smashing more pillars, causing debris to fall everywhere.)

PEARL: Watch it!

(Pearl kicks away a debris heading towards her, but a small rock then hits Steven in the face, knocking him onto the ground)

PEARL: Steven! yells at Sugilite Ugh, you're just too much!

SUGILITE: Maybe you're just too little!

PEARL: Steven, we're going! picks Steven up

STEVEN: What? I'm fine! What about Sugilite?

PEARL: She can find her own way home!

STEVEN: Awww...

(Pearl and Steven warp away, just before a huge rock destroys the Warp Pad.)

[Trans. Int. Big Donut]

(Steven enters the Big Donut wearing sunglasses and a big roll of gauze wrapped around his head.)

STEVEN: 'Sup?

SADIE: Whoa! Steven, what happened to you?

STEVEN: Oh just a little battle damage from our last mission.

SADIE: Really?

LARS: Like what?

STEVEN: I got hit by a rock!

(Steven lifts up his gauze, revealing a tiny cut on his forehead. Both Sadie and Lars starts laughing at Steven's "battle damage".)

SADIE: It must not have been a very big rock.

STEVEN: covers up the cut in embarrassment Well, there's... internal bleeding. My hurt is on the inside!

SADIE: keeps laughing Oh, okay!

LARS: keeps laughing Toughen up, Steven!

STEVEN: You're right. I'm soft. takes his gauze off

LARS: If I weren't so modest, I'd whip out my sweet six-pack and... struggles to open a can of sardines* ...show you what... a real man... looks like... *grunts

(Sadie offers to open the can. Lars passes the can to her and she opens it with ease, returning it to Lars.)

LARS: Nah... I'm not gonna say thanks. gets punched in the leg by Sadie Aha... aha....

STEVEN: That's it! We all need a workout! Let's do it! Let's workout together! points to Sadie* You can beat up Lars! *turns to Lars And you don't have to starve to death if Sadie divorces you!

LARS: We're not married!

STEVEN: And I know just the guy to help us out.

[Trans. Ext. Beach House]

(Greg is fast asleep on a workbench, after constructing a makeshift gym on the beach. Steven, Lars and Sadie arrive wearing workout outfits.)

STEVEN: Wow! This looks great!

GREG: Huh...? Wha? wakes up from his nap

STEVEN: Hey, Dad!

GREG: Hey, Steven, you like it? It's the best I can do on such short notice.

LARS: picks up a dumbbell made of cans, which quickly falls apart No kidding.

GREG: Well, I might join you kids show you how it's done. I've been slacking on my workout routine for few weeks... months... years... coughs Decades.

STEVEN: Sure! The more the meatier! Oh! We'll need sweatbands!

(Steven runs up to the his house. Pearl then passes by the gym as Greg picks up a real dumbbell)

GREG: Hey, Pearl. Come to check out some buff studs?

PEARL: No. walks up to Steven's house Steven, what on earth are you up to?

STEVEN: We're starting a gym! flexes Imma get super strong! Like Sugilite!

PEARL: You know, maybe this isn't a good idea.

STEVEN: What? I wanna be strong so I can be useful to the team!

PEARL: There are different ways of being strong.

STEVEN: But I want to be strong in the real way. Come on, Pearl. puts on a sweatband Let's get beefy!

PEARL: pouts* I'd rather not. *enters the house

(Pearl sighs as she closes the door behind. She then begins to sing "Strong in the Real Way".)

PEARL: Steven...
Why do you have to look up to her
Aside from in a literal sense?
Don't you know that a power that big
Comes with a bigger expense?

(She picks up Steven's clothes on the floor.)

PEARL: And can't you see that she's out of control
And overzealous?
I'm telling you for your own good,
And not because I'm...

(She sees everyone working out through the windows and pulls down the blinds in disapproval.)

PEARL: I can show you how to be strong...
In the real way.
And I know that we can be strong
In the real way.
And I want to inspire you
I want to be your rock
And when I talk
It lights a fire in you

(All the while, Steven is peeking and eavesdropping on Pearl's song. Determined, Steven turns up the volume of his stereo and yells into his megaphone at the gym.)

STEVEN: Who's ready to get buff? I don't wanna see your gut, I wanna see your guts!

(Steven sees Pearl looking at them from the porch, but she quickly looks away and goes back inside the house.)

STEVEN: I can show you how to be strong...
In the real way
And I know that we can be strong
In the real way
And I want to inspire you
I want to be your rock
And when I talk
It lights a fire in you

(Steven continues instructing and inspiring everyone with the workout.)

STEVEN: I want to inspire you
I want to be your rock
And when I talk
It lights a fire in you!

(After he stops singing, everyone is visibly tired out.)

SADIE: Hey, Steven, maybe um, you can work out a bit, too?

STEVEN: Huh? I have been.

LARS: We've been working out. You've just been singing some dumb song.

GREG: But you're doing a great job pumping us up.

STEVEN: Thanks, but I need to get strong, too. I'm switching to four-wheel drive! puts four tires on his body and begins running around

[Time Skip — The next day at sunrise]

(Sadie, Lars, and Greg are all waiting outside the house for Steven.)

SADIE: Steven, come on! We're ready to get started! We can't work out without your mad coaching skills!

[Trans. Int. Steven's Room]

STEVEN: groans in pain* Be there in a sec! *struggles to get off of bed and down the stairs So sore from getting ripped...

PEARL: I don't understand. Amethyst and Garnet still aren't back yet. I tried to warp back to check on them, but the warp pad is down!

(Suddenly, the ground starts to shake and voices can be heard outside.)

GREG & LARS: What?!

SADIE: Are you seeing this too?!

(The house starts to rumble and crumbles falls from the ceiling.)

PEARL & STEVEN: Wha-!

(Pearl and Steven quickly exit the house and see Sugilite in the distance, marching towards them in the ocean.)

GREG: What the hey is that?!

LARS: falls off from the makeshift monkey bars Oohoomph!

(Sugilite arrives at the beach and everyone runs away in fear.)

SUGILITE: roars I'M BORED!!!!!

STEVEN: It's Sugilite!

PEARL: approaches Sugilite Y-you're back!

SUGILITE: You left me behind!

PEARL: We just thought you didn't need any help. Now why don't you separate, and we can all sit down and relax?

SUGILITE: NO! kicks Pearl

STEVEN: Pearl!

PEARL: Listen to me! You've been fused for too long! You're losing yourselves!

SUGILITE: I am myself, and I'm sick of being split up! So you better get used to me, baby, and get this junk of my beach! destroys the makeshift gym

STEVEN: struggles over to Pearl Why is she wrecking Dad's gym? Why is she attacking you?!

PEARL: lifts Steven up and tosses him away Steven, get out of here!

STEVEN: lands stomach-down on the ground and is stuck limp* I can't move... *moans in pain

(Pearl summons her spear and stances herself for battle.)

SUGILITE: What, you wanna fight?!

PEARL: You'll thank me later!

(Pearl leaps towards Sugilite, but she is quickly swatted away.)

GREG: Come on, kid! helps Steven to get up

STEVEN: Dad, no! Pearl!

(Pearl stands back up and leaps off again, this time, managing to knock off Sugilite's visor.)

STEVEN & GREG: gasp

SUGILITE: You think you're something? You! headbutts Pearl to the ground* Ain't! *hits Pearl into the sky* Nothing!!! *smacks Pearl into the ground from the sky

(Sugilite then attempts to crush Pearl with her flail, but barely misses her. It also sends Steven and Greg flying some distance into the sand and damages Steven's house.)

STEVEN: My muscles!

PEARL: Steven! Ugh... kneels in pain and almost starts to cry* I'm sorry, Steven... Garnet, Amethyst... *sniffs I wasn't strong enough to protect you. I'm not strong enough to do anything...

(Steven then sees the megaphone nearby and crawls towards it.)

STEVEN: using the megaphone Come on, Pearl! Don't give up! I know you can take her down!

PEARL: I can't...

STEVEN: Yes, you can! Come on! You always knew what to do! You gotta show her what you showed me! That you're strong, Pearl! Strong in the real way!

(Pearl looks up at the Crystal Temple and, regaining some confidence, slowly pulls herself back on her feet.)

SUGILITE: What?! You want some more?!

PEARL: Anytime! You're no match for me! Not even close!

(Sugilite punches towards Pearl, which she dodges and then runs away. Sugilite then chases after Pearl up to the lighthouse on the cliff.)

STEVEN: Go!

SUGILITE: Get back here!

(Pearl leaps off the cliff.)

SUGILITE: laughs Nice try.

(Sugilite starts swinging her flail. Pearl then hurls her spear at the ground underneath Sugilite, causing her to lose her footing, fall off the cliff and crash onto the beach.)

SUGILITE: Is that all you got? You think that's enough to be-

(Sugilite's flail lands smack on her head, separating her back into Garnet and Amethyst in a poof of purple cloud.)

PEARL: Amethyst, Garnet! Are you OK!?

GARNET: weakly Yeah... Sugilite just overworked our bodies. It's... a little painful.

AMETHYST: And I've got a monster headache.

(Pearl pulls Garnet and Amethyst for a tearful hug. Garnet and Amethyst groan in pain as the sound of bone cracking is heard, causing Pearl to quickly release them.)

PEARL: Oh... chuckles Whoops.

STEVEN: Pearl, you did it!

PEARL: panting Thanks. You make a good coach.

GARNET: Pearl, we should've listened... You were right.

PEARL: Yeah. I was right.

STEVEN: Go, Pearl!

PEARL: Come on! I feel great! Who's up for a mission?! Or...

(Pearl continues shouting in the background, as two star irises zoom in on Garnet and Amethyst.)

AMETHYST: How long is she going to keep this up?

GARNET: We deserve it. Take it like a Gem.

LARS: (Another star iris pops over him and Sadie.) Uh, what the heck just happened?

STEVEN: (Another star iris pops over him.) Drop and give me 20!!

[END]