Comfort and Joy

[DR. PARKER]
You little creep, you're gonna pay
I won't be shoved out of the way!
Oh no-

[VOICES IN HIS HEAD]
Oh no!

[DR. PARKER]
Oh no-

[VOICES IN HIS HEAD]
Oh no!

[DR. PARKER]
And I could make a solid case
For smashing in your filthy face

[VOICES IN HIS HEAD]
Kill him!

[DR. PARKER]
Shut up!

[VOICES IN HIS HEAD]
Kill him!

[DR. PARKER]
Shut up!
I've got a spade and a burlap sack!

[VOICES IN HIS HEAD]
Kill him now!

[DR. PARKER]
And there's a hole in the yard out back!

[VOICES IN HIS HEAD]
Kill him now!

[DR. PARKER]
But if I fill it she’ll ask me why...

[VOICES IN HIS HEAD]
Kill him now...

[DR. PARKER]
So I've got one thing to do before you die!

[VOICES IN HIS HEAD]
Now! Now!

[DR. PARKER]
Wait!
She will see what you are
I will win back my bride
She herself will decide
To get rid of the boy!
She'll admit she was wrong
She'll return before long
She'll be singing a song
Full of comfort and joy

[VOICES]
Comfort and joy-
Comfort and joy!

[DR. PARKER]
Comfort and joy!

[VOICES]
Comfort and joy...
Comfort and joy!
Comfort and joy!
Kill the Bat Boy!
Kill the Bat Boy!

[MEREDITH]
Oh, Honey, I apologize:
You've really opened up my eyes

[SHELLEY]
No way!

[MEREDITH]
Yes way!

[SHELLEY]
No way!

[MEREDITH]
Yes way!
I'm laying out your Sunday best
Now brush your teeth and get some rest
All right?

[SHELLEY]
No way?

[MEREDITH]
All right!

[SHELLEY]
All right!

[MEREDITH]
Now when they see him they'll make a fuss

[SHELLEY]
Is that true?

[MEREDITH]
We gotta smile like we just don't care!

[SHELLEY]
That's not fair!

[MEREDITH]
They put their pants on the same as us!

[SHELLEY]
Yes they do...

[MEREDITH]
So just imagine them in their underwear!

[SHELLEY]
And then this time I swear...

[MEREDITH & SHELLEY]
He will show that he's not
What they're terrified of
He will show them a love
They can never destroy!
If we prove that they're wrong
They'll come round before long
And we'll all sing a song
Full of comfort and joy!

[Chorus]
Comfort and joy!
Yeah!
Comfort and-

[MEREDITH & SHELLEY]
Comfort and Joy!

[Chorus]
Comfort and Joy...
Comfort and Joy!
Comfort and Joy!
Comfort and Joy!

[DR. PARKER]
Stop the Bat Boy!

[SHERIFF, spoken]
Settle down, people! We want to make sure the revival goes off without a hitch, so let's go over the schedule; listen up:

[SHERIFF]
From nine to twelve he does the healing...

[NED, spoken]
Sheriff...

[MAGGIE]
You hush up!

[SHERIFF]
At noon he'll bless the fields and plows...

[MR. DILLON, spoken]
Tractors too?

[MAGGIE]
Hush up!

[SHERIFF]
Then lunch is from one thirty-

[NED, spoken]
Sheriff, what about my Gertie?!

[MAGGIE]
Hush!

[SHERIFF]
Well as it seems that time allows, three to ten:
The Blessing Of The Cows!

[ALL]
Yes! The Blessing Of The Cows!
Boy, that preacher's a pro!
Gives a heckuva show!

[LORRAINE, spoken]
Just like Seigfried and Roy!

[TOWNSFOLK & SHERIFF]
He'll bring comfort and joy!

[TOWNSFOLK, SHERIFF, DR. PARKER]
So if nothing goes wrong
Yes, if nothing goes wrong
Lord, if nothing goes wrong
We'll have comfort and...
Comfort and Joy!
Comfort and Joy!
Lord, we need some comfort and joy!
Any means You'd care to employ
Won't You send us comfort and joy!

[BAT BOY]
Dear God
I'm still not sure how people pray
Or what one does with one's hands
But please, my thirst grows every day
I feel it burn in my glands
Please, won't you change the way I am
Or prove I'm human underneath
Or if you just don't give a damn-
You could at leatht get rid of theethe!

If I can't prove them wrong, show me where I belong
For a hunger so strong kills all comfort and joy
If You'd make me complete, I'll avoid all red meat
I'll eat nothing but soy to have comfort and joy...

[DR. PARKER]
By next week you'll be gone
Six feet under my lawn
I'll have nobody toy with my comfort and joy...

[MEREDITH & SHELLEY]
He will come out a champ;
It's just like summer camp!
They'll get used to the boy
He'll bring comfort and joy...

[TOWNSFOLK]
God, please give us Your word
Cure the plague on the herd
We don't mean to annoy but send comfort and joy...

[BAT BOY]
Comfort and joy! Comfort and joy! Yeah...! Yeah!

[ALL]
Stop the Bat Boy! Stop the Bat Boy!
Comfort and joy! Comfort and...
Joy...!

[RUTHIE, spoken]
Dr. Parker, what are you doing here?

[DR. PARKER, spoken]
Don't worry, Ruthie
The Bat Boy will pay for what he's done to you
We're all going to miss you very much

[ALL]
Comfort and joy!
Comfort and joy!
Comfort and joy!
Comfort and joy!
Comfort and joy!
Comfort and joy!
(vocalising)