Why Don’t Girls Like Me?

Did you ever wake up
With the prospect
That nobody of
The opposite sex
Is gonna call you
When you get home from work?
And did you ever spend a day off by yourself
Because nobody of
The opposite sex
Cared if you were
Free that night or not?

Well, if so, I think that you and I should go bowling
And moan about our problems and our exes and our break ups
And where we keep on goin' wrong
Maybe it's the fact that I'm slightly overweight
Or all the girls that want me are underage
Oh, maybe...
Oh, just maybe...

Oh, why don't girls likе me?
Oh, why don't girls like me?
Oh, why don't girls likе me that way?

Someone asked me what kind of girl I might seek
I said I'd settle
For one who likes me
And she says
"I guess I'm not your type"
Cause girls are fickle
And maybe that's why
They'd rather gouge out
Their own eyes
With a toothpick than to ever take me home

Oh, why don't girls like me?
Oh, why don't girls like me?
Oh, why don't girls like me that way?

Did you notice that I just changed keys?
Well, girls don't care about things like these
But, if you did can I take you home for something to eat?
I gotta a ragged-out car so it's not much fun
To go crusin' 'round in the Florida sun
But I got the coolest record collection that you're ever gonna see
We could get a bottle of Boone's Farms
And you could fall asleep in my arms

Oh, why don't girls like me?
Oh, why don't girls like me?
Oh, why don't girls like me that way?
Oh, why don't girls like me?
Oh, why don't girls like me?
Oh, why don't girls like me that way?