Whipped Into Shape

[BROOKE, spoken]
Hi, I'm Brooke Wyndham and welcome back
To the Wyndham Workout Disk Two Challenge
And our daily commitment to being the best that we can be

[ENSEMBLE, spoken]
YEAH!

[BROOKE, spoken]
So grab your Cardiowhip 5000
'Cause if you wanna get ripped, you gotta get whipped

(sung)
Do you want an easy miracle?
Do you wanna lose a pound or two?
Then you can turn this off right now
My workout's not for you
I'm talking to the woman who wants it all
Gotta pay for what you get
'Cause size two clothes don't come to those
Too lazy to sweat

[BROOKE]
I want you whipped into shape
When I say jump, say "How high?"
You know you're doing it right
When you start to cry
If you don't look like you should
You've got to whip it, whip it
Whip it good
I'm sorry, ladies, no escape
Till you're whipped into shape

[ENSEMBLE]
Whipped into shape

[BROOKE, spoken]
Come on, Sabrina, you heifer!
Work it out!

[ENSEMBLE]
Whipped into shape

[SABRINA, spoken]
I hate you, Brooke
And I love you for it

[ENSEMBLE]
Whipped into sh—

[ENID, spoken]
Hey, why'd you pause it?

[CALLAHAN, spoken]
We have a lot to cover

(sung)
Meet our brand new client, Brooke
You can laugh, but she's made tons
Off her DVDs and book
"Whip Your Way to Tighter Buns"
Happily married, so she swears
To her sixty-year-old stud
Till stepdaughter came downstairs
And found Brooke all covered in his blood

If Brooke took a plea, I'd have her out in 3 to 4
But she claims she did not kill him

[WARNER, spoken]
Did she?

[CALLAHAN, spoken]
Let's watch some more

[BROOKE]
But it's more than just a workout
It's a defensive weapon too
Simply wrap it 'round your assailant's neck
And pull till he turns blue
You can also use the patented handle grip
To shatter your attacker's spine
And all for three small payments of

[ENSEMBLE]
Nineteen-ninety-nine!

[BROOKE]
You'll have him whipped into shape
When you get grief from a guy
Just work him over with this
Till he starts to cry
If he don't act like he should
You've got to whip it, whip it
Whip it good
It gets you out of any scrape
It gets you whipped into shape

(spoken)
Come on, people!

[ENSEMBLE]
Whipped into shape

[BROOKE, spoken]
What does not kill us makes us hotter!

[CALLAHAN, spoken]
Hands, who thinks she's guilty?

(sung)
Okay, now here is where you kids come in
Brooke has trouble trusting me
I'm her only chance to win
But I don't speak MTV
Though Brooke won't help her own defense
She may listen to her peers
Go and place a little sense
In the space between her ears

[ELLE, spoken]
I'm a Delta—

[CALLAHAN, spoken]
Not now

(sung)
I want her whipped into shape
If there's a brain in that hair
Tell it that I am the key
It's a plea, or the chair
See, when I talk to her
I get neither plea nor plan nor alibi
To quote from our defendant's​ tape
I want her whipped into shape

(spoken)
To the jail!

[BROOKE, spoken]
Ladies, just because we're at Boston Women's Correctional Facility
Does not mean we can't become the best that we can be
Here we go!

Circle, circle, under, over, through, around
Again! Good!
Circle, circle, under, over, through, around
Alright, ladies, we can't break out of here
But we sure can break a sweat
Left, right! Left, right!
Good!

[BROOKE/ENSEMBLE]
Left, right, left, right, left, right!

[BROOKE, spoken]
Work it out!

[ENSEMBLE]
I want you whipped into shape
When I say jump, say "How high?"
You know you're doing it right
When you start to cry
If you don't look like you should

[BROOKE]
You've got to

[ENSEMBLE]
Whip it, whip it
Whip it good

[BROOKE]
Like prison, ladies, no escape
Till you're whipped into shape

[ENSEMBLE]
Whip it
Whip it

[BROOKE]
Whipped into shape

[ENSEMBLE]
Whip it
Whip it

[BROOKE]
Swipe it, swipe it, swipe it through
Jack it up, double jump

[ENSEMBLE]
Swipe it, swipe it, swipe it through
Jack it up, double jump

[BROOKE, spoken]
That's right! You've got it!

[BROOKE/ENSEMBLE]
Whip it, whip it, whip it
Get whipped into shape!