The Harvard Variations

[EMMETT, spoken]
Hello, I'm Emmett Forrest
Welcome to the hallowed halls of Harvard Law
Let's go around and share a bit about yourselves

[AARON, spoken]
Aaron Schultz

(sung)
I won a Fulbright and a Rhodes
I write financial software codes
But that's a challenge I've outgrown
How many yachts can one man own?
Some say that I'm a pompous creep
Somehow I don't lose that much sleep
Why bother with false modesty?
Harvard's the perfect place for me

[EMMETT/ENID/SUNDEEP]
Pretty impressive, good to know

[EMMETT]
Welcome to Harvard

[SUNDEEP]
What's up

[ENID]
Yo!

[SUNDEEP, spoken]
Sundeep Agrawal Padamadan
But you may call me Your Majesty!

(sung)
In my country my word was law but then I flee because of stupid coup d'état
But here I learn, I make new friends and soon return in bullet-proof Mercedes Benz

[EMMETT/ENID/AARON]
Pretty impressive, good to know

[EMMETT]
Welcome to Harv-

[ENID]
Enid Hoopes!
I did the Peace Corps overseas
Innoculating refugees in family clinics that I built myself from mud and trees
I fought to clean up their lagoons and save their rare endangered loons
And led a protest march against insensitive cartoons

[EMMETT/SUNDEEP/AARON]
Pretty impressive, good-

[ENID]
But now I'm on the legal track because this country's out of whack and only women have the guts to go and take it back
We'll make the government come clean and get more people voting Green
And really stick it to the phallocentric war machine

[ELLE, spoken]
I love your top, it is so fatigue chic!
Anyone know where I could find Criminal Law 101 with Professor Callahan... and Warner Huntington III?

[EMMETT, spoken]
It's in Hauser, over there, second building on the left

[ELLE]
Thanks!

[AARON, SUNDEEP, ENID, STUDENTS]
I won a Fulbright and a Rhodes
I write financial software codes In my country
Why bother with My word I did the Peace Corps overseas
False modesty? Was law Innouculating refufgees in
Harvard's the perfect But then Family clinics that I built Harvard's the perfect
Place for me I flee Myself from mud and trees Place for me

[ALL STUDENTS]
Harvard's the perfect place for-

[ELLE]
Warner!

[STUDENTS]
Ahh ah ah ah ahh

[ELLE]
'Scuse me

[STUDENTS]
Ahh ah ah ah ahh

[ELLE]
Pardon me

[STUDENTS]
Ahh ah ah ah ahh

[ELLE]
Comin' through!

[STUDENTS]
Harvard's the perfect place for me!
Pretty impressive, good to know
Welcome to Harvard!

[WARNER]
Elle?!

[ELLE, spoken]
Hm? Oh my God, Warner?
I totally forgot you go here