What We Do On Christmas

[Spoken intro]

You ever heard those, uh, right wing crazy people talk about how there's a Jewish conspiracy? And how, uh, the Jews run the media, and they have all the money, and they pretty much dominate the world? No? Well, I've heard of it, and, uh... You know, well, that would pretty much leave one day of the year, when no one else is around, to have a whole year of planning of world domination. That's Christmas. Merry Christmas, buddies

It's Christmas Eve, and you know I am hardly sleeping
There are no presents waiting for me on the floor
It's the one day of the year
When I use what my super Jewish powers are for

Hey!

Got introduced to the network at my bar mitzvah
Got my code name and number, it's 16761
While you're sitting around the tree and that knockoff menorah
You're idle, we work, justice is done

Princess Di (We killed her)
El Niño (We made it)
Reggie White (Stupid)
Billy Joel (Let's trade him)

Princess Di (We killed her)
El Niño (We made it)
Reggie White (Stupid)
Billy Joel (Let's trade him)

If the neo-Nazis know that we're part of the conspiracy
And if it's as strong as they think
You think that they'd be nicer to me
You're still mad about what happened to your pal Jesus
Well, if he didn't die for your sins
You'd be going to Hell with the rest of us

Princess Di (We killed her)
El Niño (We made it)
Reggie White (Stupid)
Billy Joel (Let's trade him)

Princess Di (We killed her)
El Niño (We made it)
Reggie White (Stupid)
Billy Joel (Let's trade him)

Wouldn't you like to know
What we do, what we do, what we do on Christmas?
Wouldn't you like to know
What we do, what we do, what we do on Christmas?

You think we're sitting here, polishing our horns?
(Wouldn't you like to know
What we do, what we do, what we do on Christmas?)
Or making soup with the blood of the Christian born?
(Wouldn't you like to know
What we do, what we do, what we do on Christmas?)

You think I'm being rude?
(Wouldn't you like to know
What we do, what we do, what we do on Christmas?)

We're going to a movie, eating Chinese food
(Wouldn't you like to know
What we do, what we do, what we do on Christmas?)

[Spoken outro]

This is the disclaimer. My name is Adam. I am a Jewish boy. I am very neurotic that people are gonna get mad at me. I like Jews. I like Christian people. There should be no problem. It's...not that funny